Public or Private?

My friend, Purple Angel, is going to her first spanking party at the end of the month. I am so happy and excited for her because I remember my first spanking party, in January, 2003. It seems like yesterday to me. I can't believe it's been almost five years!

She brought up a good point about being spanked in public (in the party room with people watching) vs. being spanked in private, that is in either hers or his private hotel room.

There are other factors to consider rather than just being seen bare bottomed by a roomful of people vs. being seen by just the person spanking you. I'll address those later.

For me, getting spanked in the public party room is a hoot; great fun for everyone. I am sort of a show off and great big ham. I love nothing better than taking a spanking in front of these people, most of whom I've been playing with for years. They have all seen my bottom bare many, many times and I have never been embarrassed to have my bare bottom seen.

A public spanking is fun for everyone, the participants and the observers. There are rules for watching someone get a spanking in public. They are not allowed to "coach" the spanker or become involved with the spanking itself or otherwise put their hands (or anything else) on the spankee. One time, when I was taking a rather intense bare bottom spanking in public (for bratting...I know everyone who knows me is so shocked! LOL) one of the male tops watching decided he needed to hold my hands for me, so I didn't get them in the way of the top who was actually spanking me. I have a pretty big mouth and I told that top to let go of my hands...immediately. He did and seemed shocked that I would be so aggressive about it, but it made me very uncomfortable, even though I knew this person wasn't trying to hurt me or purposely make me uncomfortable.

Taking a spanking in a public party room (bare bottom or otherwise) should be the spankee's decision. I wouldn't let anyone talk me into it if I wasn't ready for it. Like Purple Angel, I am not exactly as young as I used to be and my body has certainly seen better days. But I know I am among friends who would never say anything about my body and I would never say anything about theirs.

As for going to a private room to play, this can be tricky for a first timer. Before going to a private room with anyone the first time, you should go find a couple of other bottoms and ask them how this top rates both as a spanker and as a gentleman. Believe me, we bottoms talk and if we come across someone we particularly like, we tell the other girls about him. Likewise, if someone hasn't behaved himself with us, we tell them about that, too. And you should never be afraid to let someone in charge know that someone has been inappropriate with you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, they do.

At a party, you can really let your excitement get the better of you. Keep your wits about you and if your gut tells you "this isn't right" don't be afraid to politely tell someone, "You know, I changed my mind. I think I would rather play some other time". If you want to play with someone privately, but feel squeamish about going to a private room with someone you just met, take along another person, whether it be a man or a woman. No top worth his salt (and who wants to preserve his good reputation in the scene) will mind this. I have done this for newbies many times.

A private scene can be very, very rewarding and fun. You have more time to talk and get to know each other and if your styles are compatible before you play. Plus you don't have the distractions of other people watching, talking, getting up and leaving, etc while you are playing. You can concentrate just on your spanking. And a private session can be a little (or a lot) longer, depending on what you've agreed upon. It's a lot easier to try new toys in private than it is in public, too, just for the fact that you aren't distracted and neither is your spanker.

I don't endorse either type of spanking as better or worse than the other. I'm just saying they are different and both are fun in their own way. I have enjoyed both but I understand people's need to play the way that makes them comfortable. I know tops who will only play in public and bottoms who will only play in private, and vice versa. You have to do what is comfortable for you. There are advantages and disadvantages in both cases.

Either way, we are going to get that delicious spanking we are looking for...right, Purple Angel? :)