Saturday, February 23, 2008

Hitting A Dry Spell

I have just realized that I have a hit a dry spell spanking-wise. I haven't gotten spanked since November. Isn't that pathetic for a spanko? I remember a time when I played every weekend and if I went longer than about two or three weeks without a spanking I climbed the walls.
I suppose maybe it has something to do with getting older or starting to prefer quality or quantity. But going three months without a spanking is just unheard of for me. I have to face it that it's getting harder and harder for me to meet people I really click with on that all-important spanking level.
I doubt it would unravel the space/time continuum if I had to go longer than this without a spanking, but I mean...I'm a spanko...getting spanked
is what I do and I used to be good at it.
But I have to face it that maybe this dry spell isn't all my fault. The men I have chatted with lately have mostly been of the lame variety. I mean, I realize that we are a less polite society as a whole but don't any of these guys know what manners are??
I had one guy leave me an offline message that he wanted to chat. So, being the polite woman I am, I left him a message to look me up anytime. His reply to me was "For sex???" See what I mean? His lame excuse was that he thought I was a "Bot" (not a real person evidently) and I was trying to sell him online porn. He said that's how they snag you. Well, excuse me but does a "bot" usually have a profile complete with a picture? I dumped him in what I call the "Permanent Asshole File", you get my drift.
Another person I chatted with told me that "bottoms aren't entitled to courtesy". He joined my other friend in the PAF. Another guy I had been chatting with told me "Maybe we can get together this Saturday...I'll let you know Friday if I can make it." What am I? Last minute plans? I'm sorry, but do the rest of you feel that is totally inconsiderate? Or am I being a bit overly sensative?
So is it any wonder I've hit a slump? Well, I'll take my cue from professional athletes. You know how they are. They slump for a few weeks then come back batting over .500. Those of us who aren't in a relationship and don't have a 24/7 spanking partner just go through these spells at times. This is my longest dry spell in five years. I usually have two or three people I play with on a regular basis. Due to life being what it is, I've had to find new people to play with. And I haven't been having much luck. It doesn't help that 90% of the men who look me up are young guys who want me to spank them. When I tell them I don't spank, that I'm just a bottom, I get nothing more from them. One guy was in Rhode Island and he thought I could just fly there on my private jet or something and play with him. He even left me his phone number...and I am a complete stranger. Well, it's nice to know there's someone out there more desperate than I am.
Even more than the spanking, I miss just talking to people who are like me. It's like everyone has gone into hibernation or something. The last guy who spanked me is someone I hadn't seen or heard from in about 4 1/2 years. He just looked me up out of the blue. He told me he had gone back to his wife but that she was "understanding about this". Really? Then how come you haven't even written to ask how I'm doing? Maybe the wifey poo isn't as understanding as you would have me believe. I mean, even though I have a strict no sex rule, most vanilla wives find it hard to believe a guy can spank another woman and it doesn't lead to sex. Honey, all it led to was dinner and I paid for my own. Nothing even remotely sexual happened. But I think that is going to be the end of getting together with this gentleman, which is a shame because he's a good spanker.
So I just have to do like REO Speedwagon said and "ride the storm out". Sooner or later I know I'll hit the jackpot again...in the meantime, my bottom is really, really white and really, really cold. It's February after all!
Have a good one and spank on!

Friday, February 22, 2008

What Would You Do?

In this world where information is readily available, do you ever find yourself worried that the Internet is not as anonymous as it used to be? And what would you do if someone in your family accidentally or on purpose gained access to your private spanking pictures, stories, blogs etc or otherwise found out your "dirty little secret"?
When I first got active in the scene I had vanilla family living with me and I was mortified at the mere thought that someone might find out that I was into spanking. It got so that I was downright paranoid about it. I made sure my computer and all my files were password protected. Absolutely no one but me had my passwords. When I would leave for the weekend for a spanking party, I took the power cord to my computer just in case my brother (who is someone of a computer geek) somehow guessed my passwords and gained access to my "other world".
Well, after a few years, I let my guard down a bit and the inevitable happened. My vanilla roommate, searching for a popular job search site in my city, found the local spanking group I belonged to along with the site she was looking for. And, of course, right there on the welcome page is a big picture of yours truly (taken a few years ago) bent over with her bare bottom freshly spanked. I was surprised at my reaction. A few short years ago, I would have been absolutely mortified at this. But when it actually happened I found I was more angry that my roommate had used my computer without my permission. To my surprise, I found myself calmly explaining what she came to call my "hobby" and how I met people and played with them; both at parties and privately. To my surprise, she seemed cool with this and even expressed curiosity to the point of wanting to view one of my spanking DVD's. I don't think she has ever told anyone what she found on my computer.
So the question is: how would you handle this situation? I suppose for most people, like me, it depends on who finds out. For me, it was my roommate; a younger woman who was not totally turned off by the idea. If it had been a member of my family, I suppose I would just have to say,"This is my personal, private business. It doesn't concern you and I have no desire to discuss it with you. I'm still your sister just like I was before you found this out. I haven't changed."
My parents have both passed away and I'm not sure what they would have thought. I am not so sure my father and mother didn't participate in the same "hobby" I do; one that another sister, a nephew and a niece of mine also share. I wonder how my vanilla brother would take it if he found out his daughter owned a book like "Beauty's Punishment"? That is how I found out my then 19-year old niece was at least interested. That book is a particularly well-written bit of spanking erotica and she just left it laying around for anyone to find, like it was a Stephen King novel or something.
I have never really discussed this with her because I don't know if she ever got passed the curious stage or if this is something she also has in her life. I choose, at this time, to respect her privacy. Of course, I guarded my secret with my life. I didn't leave my copy of "The Compleat Spanker" laying around like it was a coffee table book.
Some people simply don't care who finds out about their private life. Others, like me, are guarded about who they confide in. Still others would die if anyone ever found out. They feel like no one would understand them or that they would somehow no longer be the person they were in the eyes of those who knew.
I am at the point where I don't shout it from the roof tops but I am not embarrassed or ashamed of it either. If my co-worker can have a miniature paddle hanging from his rear view mirror that says "Bad Girl" on it, I can have my key ring that says "Spank me" on it. Hey, to me that's a great combination! :)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Reputation

Hi Everyone!
I have been thinking about my reputation in the scene for a while now. I like to think I have a good one; that people think I'm fun to play with. I am always honest with the people I play with, whether it be at parties or privately at my home. I think honesty and respect are the two most important factors in assessing someone's scene reputation. Has this person been honest with you? And has he/she treated you with respect? Or have they lied to you and treated you like you were an idiot?
What kind of reputation would you like to have? In my opinion, the Tops with the best reputations are the ones who are gentlemen and fun to play with. Bottoms can have good or bad reputations, too.
I have met people who have gaurded their hard-won reputation like nothing else mattered. I have met people who had a good reputation for being safe and sane only because bottoms were too intimidated to report them, me included. And I have met people who didn't seem to care about their reputation or what people thought of them at all. This is the most curious situation to me. I can see being outspoken (like I would have the right to talk! lol) and saying "damn the consequences". But I can't imagine being a jerk or a bully with spankees and being unconcerned about being kicked out of groups or not having anyone to play with.
Speaking only for myself, I start to form my opinion of someone the minute we make first contact. Most times that is in the form of an online chat. If the opening IM is respectful and polite such as "Hi..I saw your Yahoo profile and thought I'd say hello", then the chances are I would be very interested in chatting. If that first sentence is something debasing, demeaning, offensive or profane, guess what? I probably won't want to chat with you, not then and probably never. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
So you have to determine what kind of reputation you'd like to have. If you want people to like you and want to play with you, you should probably treat them like you'd want to be treated. I know...I say this all the time. But I don't think you can say it too many times.
My grandmother used to tell me, "A person's good name is more precious than gold." I think she was paraphrasing one of the Proverbs but I couldn't agree with her more. So why would someone want to risk their "good name" (provided they had one to start with) in the scene by being unsafe or doing something dangerous or nonconsensual? I think the best advice anyone can give a newbie in the scene is: always behave in a manner that gains respect; starting with that first contact.
I have worked on my "good name" and reputation for five years now. I sure hope if I didn't have a good reputation, someone would take me aside and tell me. I'd sure want to know if my reputation wasn't what I thought it was. My feelings might be hurt, but I could at least start to repair the damage I've done.
I think that's easier for bottoms than it is for Tops, some of whom think they have to have that reputation as a no nonsense type. They feel if they aren't tough the bottoms won't respect them. Well, that might be true of some bottoms but it's not true of me. Anyone who knows me longer than a party or two knows I am all about having fun; light-hearted spanking play is my favorite. And I repsect the gentle, fun loving type more than the Dom who insists on his right to punish me if I "disobey" him. And I abhor the Top who can never be wrong. We all make mistakes and we can all be wrong at times.
Remember your reputation. Nothing in the scene, to me, is more important than that. Work on it, feed it, gaurd it with your life and defend it if it's questioned...if it's questioned frequently, you need to work on it some more.
Well that's my piece for tonight...everyone have a great night!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Movie Spanking Scenes

I was just watching one of my "Cinema Swats" DVD's and wanted to comment on some of the spankings they contained. Everyone knows that spankings in mainstream movies are, pardon the pun, hit or miss. As I watched, I couldn't figure out why some of them were so popular with spanking fans.
Case in point: "Kiss Me Kate". I'm talking about the Howard Keel/Kathryn Grayson movie version. I have never seen such a big guy give such a soft spanking in my life. Now, in fairness, I am a big fan of what I call "the build up" to the spanking and this one was very good. But as far I am concerned, it's a big build up to nothing. How did this scene become a classic? It is poorly done. How did Grayson even feel those soft little slaps through that velvet dress of hers?
I have also seen spankings that were horribly botched. How can you call it a spanking if the person doing the spanking only finds the bottom once or twice during the entire "spanking"? This happened mostly in foreign films done in the 60's or 70's. Wasn't there anyone around to show someone how to give a realistic spanking?
But some of them were really, really well done. I think "Bunker Bean" is one of my favorites. The build up was first rate and the spanking was very realistic, almost too realistic. The girl (and I'm sorry her name escapes me) told him, "You're nothing but a miserable little clerk!" Well, ladies and gentlemen, that "miserable little clerk" sent her out of the room crying and rubbing her bottom. Sure, maybe it wasn't his place to spank her, but someone needed to do it.
Another movie I like with a great spanking is "The Taming Of Trudy Bell". I believe this movie is from 1968. Things were done differently in those days, I guess. The only person of note in the film is, of course, the guy doing the spanking. Someone has said it was the same guy who played "Billy Jack" a few years later. It looks like him, but I can't be sure because I've never seen the movie except for the spanking. It is well done and the "heroine" of the story certainly had it coming.
Where movie spankings are concerned, "Blue Hawaii" is the exemplar. Elvis probably gained a lot of fans with this scene. I have always heard he argued to have the scene left out, but the girl insisted on it. My kind of girl if this is true! Anyway, if Elvis had had his way and the scene was left out, spankingdom would have missed out on a very well done spanking scene. Is it just me or does it look like Elvis has had a girl or two over his knee before this?
I am really sorry that, in these politically correct times, we can't have spankings in movies anymore unless it's for comic value or sexual titillation. There are certainly actors in this day and age I wouldn't mind seeing spank a woman. Can you say Russell Crowe? lol
As it is, these are what we are left with. "McClintock!" offers us not one but two memorable spanking scenes. I prefer the one with the young people, John Wayne's son, Patrick and Stephanie Powers in it. Everyone knows Stephanie had a thing for this. Seems she was spanked in almost everything she did. Anyone ever see her in that episode of "Lancer" that she did in the early 70's? That one melts my heart, too.
So some of the movie and TV spankings are very well known (those I Love Lucy episodes) and some are obscure, such as those foreign films that you really have to search to find. I don't count adult films, since you can find spanking in many adult films. I am talking about those mainstream movies or TV shows.
To show you how spanking drew the crowds, here is a little story. Evidently, it used to be very popular to put out an advertisement for a movie showing a woman being spanked. You would be lured to the theater and guess what? No spanking. In those early days, everyone knew spanking sold tickets.
Another area of television where you can see a spanking every now and then is professional wrestling. In the 80's and 90's it was pretty common to see a huge professional wrestler turn some diva over his knee. Now men don't do that as much because they don't want to get the reputation of a "woman beater". Mostly the spanking action now is girl on girl and that's ok if you are a college guy just watching for laughs. Some of those older "wrestling spankings" are quite well known. Some of them have never been seen "unedited", like the infamous Billy Joe Travis/Toni Adams spanking that occured in Texas in 1989. I have never seen a version of this that wasn't pixilated or edited in some way. I think an unedited version must exist somewhere and I would love to see it if it were ever found. Many of the spankings in wrestling occured before it was all scripted and choreographed, before it became more about entertainment than sport.
I would love to hear your comments regarding what you think is the best or worst spanking you have ever seen or someone you would like to see spank someone (my pick would be the previously mentioned Mr. Crowe), etc. This is an interesting subject to me and I am sure it is interesting to more than a few of you.

Have a great evening everyone!