Reputation

Hi Everyone!
I have been thinking about my reputation in the scene for a while now. I like to think I have a good one; that people think I'm fun to play with. I am always honest with the people I play with, whether it be at parties or privately at my home. I think honesty and respect are the two most important factors in assessing someone's scene reputation. Has this person been honest with you? And has he/she treated you with respect? Or have they lied to you and treated you like you were an idiot?
What kind of reputation would you like to have? In my opinion, the Tops with the best reputations are the ones who are gentlemen and fun to play with. Bottoms can have good or bad reputations, too.
I have met people who have gaurded their hard-won reputation like nothing else mattered. I have met people who had a good reputation for being safe and sane only because bottoms were too intimidated to report them, me included. And I have met people who didn't seem to care about their reputation or what people thought of them at all. This is the most curious situation to me. I can see being outspoken (like I would have the right to talk! lol) and saying "damn the consequences". But I can't imagine being a jerk or a bully with spankees and being unconcerned about being kicked out of groups or not having anyone to play with.
Speaking only for myself, I start to form my opinion of someone the minute we make first contact. Most times that is in the form of an online chat. If the opening IM is respectful and polite such as "Hi..I saw your Yahoo profile and thought I'd say hello", then the chances are I would be very interested in chatting. If that first sentence is something debasing, demeaning, offensive or profane, guess what? I probably won't want to chat with you, not then and probably never. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
So you have to determine what kind of reputation you'd like to have. If you want people to like you and want to play with you, you should probably treat them like you'd want to be treated. I know...I say this all the time. But I don't think you can say it too many times.
My grandmother used to tell me, "A person's good name is more precious than gold." I think she was paraphrasing one of the Proverbs but I couldn't agree with her more. So why would someone want to risk their "good name" (provided they had one to start with) in the scene by being unsafe or doing something dangerous or nonconsensual? I think the best advice anyone can give a newbie in the scene is: always behave in a manner that gains respect; starting with that first contact.
I have worked on my "good name" and reputation for five years now. I sure hope if I didn't have a good reputation, someone would take me aside and tell me. I'd sure want to know if my reputation wasn't what I thought it was. My feelings might be hurt, but I could at least start to repair the damage I've done.
I think that's easier for bottoms than it is for Tops, some of whom think they have to have that reputation as a no nonsense type. They feel if they aren't tough the bottoms won't respect them. Well, that might be true of some bottoms but it's not true of me. Anyone who knows me longer than a party or two knows I am all about having fun; light-hearted spanking play is my favorite. And I repsect the gentle, fun loving type more than the Dom who insists on his right to punish me if I "disobey" him. And I abhor the Top who can never be wrong. We all make mistakes and we can all be wrong at times.
Remember your reputation. Nothing in the scene, to me, is more important than that. Work on it, feed it, gaurd it with your life and defend it if it's questioned...if it's questioned frequently, you need to work on it some more.
Well that's my piece for tonight...everyone have a great night!