Intolerance

I have been thinking for some time now about myself and my views of other people's spanking desires (I hate the word "kink"...it sounds like we all go around wearing trench coats or something). I have tried honestly to accept and be tolerant of the needs and desires of my friends in the scene. And, of course, I would never be judgemental. But, truthfully, I do find some aspects of the scene abhorrent. Does this make me intolerant? Judgemental? Closed minded?
Just because we are all into spanking, doesn't mean we all want the same thing, all like the same things or do the same thing. That would be naive. I have stressed many, many times that I only play for fun. I don't get punished nor do I play for sexual gratification. I only play erotically with someone I'm in a relationship with. I am not casual about my body nor am I casual about sex. Does this mean I am a prude who has no business calling herself a spanko? As I said in another post, I have been trying to find my place in the spanking world.
I have been at parties or chatting with friends and when they mention something I find disturbing or just plain gross, I find myself trying to find the words to politely say "that's nice" while not trying to appear rude or unaccepting. I am not perfect and the mention of certain activities makes me shudder. Like the friend I work with who likes electric play and heavy bondage. Every time he talks about the things he likes, it makes me almost physically sick. Does this make me a horrible friend? Unaccepting? Closed minded? Like I said, I'm not perfect and these little things make me upset with myself at times. But, at the same time, am I not an American with the First Amendment right to free speech? Do I do like my mother told me and just not say anything if I don't have anything nice to say?
Or do we have the right, when someone asks our opinion, to honestly say, "I'm glad you enjoy that. It's not something I would enjoy though" without said person getting his or her feelings hurt over it? Or acting like we are intolerant and unaccepting just because we said we wouldn't like something they do?
On the spanking groups I belong to, we try not to disagree with anyone. We try not to step on anyone's toes. We tell new members that everyone is welcoming and accepting of them. But is that really true? If you belong to spanking groups, have you ever looked at someone's introduction, read their stories or their profiles and thought "YUCK! I think I'll avoid that person"? I mean to each his own, but still....YUCK!
Someone has probably thought the same thing about me. I'm almost sure they have. I don't mean they think what I do is gross. But they probably think I am an unusual person in the scene because I won't get sexual with someone I just met. And, let's face it, there are those out there who want their sex and spanking fix and when they come across someone like me who won't "deliver" the first time we play, I'm sure they shake their head and wonder about me. Does this make them intolerant? Unaccepting? Closed minded?
These are just my thoughts tonight.
I honestly hope I haven't ruffled any feathers with this post. It's just something I've been thinking about for some time.
Thanks for your comments!