The Crying Game

Boy, you'd think I could come up with a title that was a little more original than this, but I've been under the weather (read: I feel like crap) so this is the best I could do.
I was chatting with a gentleman last night (bad idea) and it was obvious this man had never had a real, live woman over is knee. Or if he did I felt sorry for the women he did play with. I invited questions (another bad idea) as I usually do with new people who haven't quite taken that first step to spank or get spanked.
He did ask some intelligent questions such as do you take precautions so your neighbors won't hear the spanking noise? But he also asked some questions that told me that he either read too much spanking fiction which, in my mind, is almost always made extra severe and humiliating just for the sake of titillation or he watched too many spanking videos with that all important punishment theme. In other words, as I like to say, please get on the next train to the Real World.
He asked me, "How long do you like to be held or comforted after a spanking?"
I told him, "Usually not long. I give a hug after a spanking but then usually there is just more spanking after that."
To which he replied, "You don't like to be held while you cry?"
Cry? Yes, I finally figured out that I was chatting with a completely clueless wanna be who had no idea how a real spanking went.
"I don't cry from a spanking," I told him. This seemed to truly shock him.
"Don't you get spanked for punishment?"
"No," I replied, "I had a disciplinarian but he's been dead for 15 years."
This man then offered me his deepest condolences on the loss of my disciplinarian. I thought I was being funny but he took it completely seriously.
"I'm talking about my father!" I told him and put a nice smiley at the end so he would know I was joking with him about who my disciplinarian had been.
"Don't you feel like you are sometimes that same little girl who needs to be punished for doing naughty things?" he asked.
I finally had to break it to him, "I'm 47-years-old. I don't do 'naughty' things anymore and if I do, I know I can go to my God and He will forgive me."
Then because I brought up God, he didn't want to really chat anymore. I felt completely sorry for him. With his attitude and ignorance I don't know if he'll ever get someone to play with. So much of our chat had been him asking if I had ever cried from a spanking (as an adult), if I wanted to cry from a spanking, why I felt I didn't need to cry from a spanking and then he gave me websites I could visit and chat with women who regularly cried from a spanking and they could tell me about the catharsis and healing that takes place when a Dominant authority figure holds you accountable and spanks you as punishment, etc. No thanks. I would just be wasting those people's time.
The truth of the matter is I have only cried one time from a spanking and it was actually a caning. The man doing the caning was caning me unbelievably hard. On the 11th stroke, I safeworded him instead of stopping he convinced me to take one more stroke. I cried after that but I'm not so sure what really caused the tears. Was it the pain of that 12th stroke or was it the pain I felt that someone I trusted and liked as a person had shrugged off my safeword? I swear for all the world, looking back on it now, he was satisfied with himself. It was like he had accomplished his task.
That has been the only time I have ever cried from a spanking. Even when I allowed myself to be punished for smoking (I was trying to quit and foolishly thought this would help) I didn't cry from it. And I'm not exaggerating, the guy tore my bottom up. Not only did I not cry but I didn't quit smoking either.
I'm not trying to put down those who want or need discipline in their lives. Most of the people I know who engage in this type of activity didn't have the positive and loving relationship I had with my father. In many cases either there was no clear cut authority figure in the home or there was long range, chronic abuse going on. When you don't have that loving authority figure that makes you feel safe and cherished and who comforts you and says he loves you even after inflicting pain on you, it sends a positive message to a young child. I don't blame anyone for trying to find that father or mother figure they didn't have growing up. But not all of us are looking for that and when I chat with people who find out that I'm perfectly ok and that I have very little baggage from my childhood they can't understand how I got interested in spanking. Well, interested is a good word, but it hardly conveys my true feelings about spanking. A better word might be obsessed.
So if you want to cry from a spanking (and many people do need to do that occasionally) more power to you. But treat those of us who don't like we are weird or different. Some spankos did have loving parents who both nurtured and disciplined them. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.

That's all for now, Kiddies! Play nice and play safe...
Cigi