Sunday, March 9, 2008

My Rapidly Fading Tolerance

I have a spanking party to go to in about three weeks. Now, I am excited to be going and I can't wait to play with everyone. But there is going to be a Top there who I haven't seen (much less played with) in about four years attending. I can't wait to see him but I am afraid it will not take him long to learn my secret: I don't have the tolerance I used to have. When I first started getting spanked, I had what was called a "cast iron bottom". I could take a spanking with the best of them. In fact, a small part of me is proud that people were so awed by the amount and severity of spanking I could take. I was very proud to be one of the hardest players in the group.

Sadly, my tolerance has faded to the point that I am boringly average to play with. A swat with a wood paddle that used to be met with bored indifference now elicits an "owww!" Even if someone spanks me hard with their hand, I whimper like a "Powderpuff Girl" (as light players are sometimes called in a certain group I belong to). I know this isn't nor should it be a contest about who can take the hardest spanking. And I have never received a prize for taking the hardest spanking; unless you count the collection of broken toys I have acquired over the years. But this fading tolerance has hurt my pride and I suppose there are probably several reasons for it: 1) I ain't as young as I used to be. Having turned 47 in December, I'm no longer a spring chicken and 2) I don't play like I used to. As I mentioned in another post, I used to play every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend. I suppose if I got back into the habit of playing more often, my tolerance could return.

But there have been some nice benefits to losing a bit of tolerance. For one thing, the lighter spankings feel nice. I never thought I would like a lighter spanking. I usually just arrive at a party and head straight for the bruisers. Tops who spank lighter tend to play with you longer. Tops who spank hard sometimes forget about the warm up and, consequently, the spanking is over pretty quickly. If toys are used, the harder spanker can leave marks, abraded skin and pain that makes it necessary to sleep on my stomach. Trying to sit is an adventure for several days afterwards. But I was an avowed Pain Slut and still consider myself one. Whatever happened to the girl who could take 116 strokes with a heavy strap delivered with a full arm swing by an over 6' Top? Whatever happened to the girl who only used her safeword when she had to pee? (Now I just say 'let me up...I gotta pee"). Whatever happened to the girl who considered a nice caning to be 50 strokes? Is she still there somewhere just needing to be coaxed back out? Do I just need to get in training for this spanking party?
I always thought I was popular at parties because I had a cute bottom that happened to be made of cast iron. Now I suppose one person's light spanking is another person's hard spanking and vice versa.

And some Tops, I'm sure, will tell me that I haven't changed at all. But this one Top who is coming to the party remembers me as the girl with the bottom that could and did break toys. I'm concerned he'll think I'm not as much fun to play with if I can't play as hard. I'm not saying my friend would be that shallow. In fact, I'm sure he'll just be glad to see me and will give me any kind of spanking I want. But I'm worried that in the back of his mind he'll be thinking about how much I've changed.

A rock poet once sang "The times they are a-changing"...and for me they certainly are. Trouble is, how much are they changing? Is this change permanent? Or temporary? Is this just another chapter in my continuing journey in the spanking scene? I don't know. The only thing I know with any certainty is that I still enjoy spanking and that will never change.

That's all for now.. Have fun!

6 comments:

Michael said...

Cigi, you answered your own question in that you and your bionic bottom are just out of practice. While age is also a contributing factor, I am two years older than you, I think if you went back to your old spanking schedule you would be back to breaking toys in no time. I'm sure your Top will be perfectly fine with the 'new' you and will be overjoyed to see you after four years. And a softer good girl spanking can be just as satisfying too. Here's wishing you a grand time and lots of fun at the party. :)

Michael

Cigi said...

I think you are probably right, Micheal, I will enjoy any spanking I get from this Top and he will respect my tolerance level, just as he always has.

But I still can't help but think this change could be permanent due to any number of factors.

But like I said, what WON'T change is my desire for spankings. :-)

Hope you have a great evening!

Hugs,
Cigi

Michael said...

Yes, Cigi, the main thing is that it won't change your desire to be spanked. If that happened then the Earth would fall off its axis. *G*

Michael - who is so glad to hear your spanking desire is still alive and well. :)

Dr. Ken said...

Cigi--I feel certain that if you simply explain to this guy what's going on with you, he'll understand and have no problem with it. Most Tops, believe it or not, are quite sensitive to a bottom's needs when it comes to her tolerence and they actually listen to what you say (you may have to use visual aids and speak r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w-l-y....)
As a Top, I always adjust to what the bottom wants. I enjoy playing with the person--a high or low level of tolerence doesn't really enter into it. And at a party, where some ladies can become toast in a short period of time--I don't mind giving them a lighter spanking. It's still a spanking....

Dr. Ken

The Guess Who # 2 said...

Have fun at the Spanking Party.
I'm a new reader here.
Looking forward to reading more about your experiences in the scene.
I'm an avid fan of all things spanking..:)

Take care & have a good & proper
one!

x,Will "bottomsUp!"
http://will69b.wordpress.com

Michael said...

Have a great time in Chicago, Cigi. Say hi to Cheryl and Dr. Ken for me. :)

Michael