Lighten Up

I had a nice chat with a gentleman the other night that I thought I'd mention here. This particular gentleman had read my Yahoo profile and had read some of this blog and he was curious about exactly what I meant when I said I play "just for fun".

Oy...you know sometimes I can't understand why people read so much into one little phrase. We aren't discussing the theory of relativity or trying to decipher what a poet means by his words. I mean how difficult can it be to understand the three little words "just for fun"? Why is the concept that someone might play just for the fun of it so hard for some people to grasp?

He was very polite to me (after I put him in his place for asking me questions I regarded as too personal and inappropriate) but like some other people he thought only in terms of discipline or sex when it came to spanking. I am very happy to say that he came away from our chat with a better understanding and appreciation for the "just for fun" spanking.
He still can't understand how a woman who's favorite toy is the cane thinks this is "fun" but to each his own I suppose. I told him the best advice I could give him (or anyone for that matter) would be to lighten up his attitude regarding spanking. It's not always serious and it's not always a learning experience and it's not always about who's in charge...although those things have their place for some people and that's fine.
You can absolutely have a good time without those things. And there's a place for them. I guess what I'm trying to say (and this is the new more positive me talking here) is that I finally got a Dom to understand my point of view. He wasn't just paying it lip service. He wasn't patronizing or condescending. He really understood. I breathed a sigh of relief. Although the thought of just playing for fun, so both people get equal enjoyment, was something he was curious to try. So maybe I'll be lucky enough to help this gentleman see just what "just for fun" really means.
At first, he thought "just for fun" was my cute little euphemism for "just for sex". It was challenging to help him change his attitude from "this is about me" to "this is about both of us". I got a very nice email from this gentleman this morning in which he thanked me for "teaching him a good
lesson".
I am convinced of his sincerity but I know he is still a Dom who has to be in charge and that's fine with me. But he also sees this from another point of view; one he hadn't necessarily thought of before. And isn't that a learning experience?

Have a great day everyone!