Cigi's World

Common Courtesy

2009-05-15T15:29:00.001-07:00

You know, in the 21st century, this day and age of "text me" communication it seems as if common courtesy has gone straight out the window. It's like no one knows how to hold a conversation anymore. How many times have you been talking to someone who (when the conversation was over) didn't even say goodbye to you? It seems like the way to say "goodbye" now is to simply flip your phone closed. End of conversation. It's the same when chatting online too it seems. Lately I have had way, way too many chats that just ended with me hanging in the breeze until I finally get the message that the person I am chatting with is no longer interested. Usually this is a person who looked me up to chat, not the other way around. Whatever happened to "well, I have to go now. We'll chat later ok"? I know a lot of people have two or three (or more!) chats going at once and they forget about one of them sooner or later. I think this behavior is rude. I never engage in more than one chat at a time for exactly that reason. In the scene, it seems to be all to common. Some guy will look me up and then make me play the "Waiting Game"; you know the one. Or they look you up to chat and then you have to do most of the conversing while they answer every message with "cool" (or worse "kewl"), "absolutely" or "LOL". You can't get any information from them and they looked you up to chat. What is wrong with this picture? Have we forgotten how to communicate, which is so important in the spanking scene? I personally hate what I call "text message English", where someone writes "How r u?" instead of taking the time to type "How are you?" We aren't in high school are we?
In my opinion anyone who writes like this during a chat or on a message board should receive twenty swats with my brand new paddle. Maybe it shows my bias, but I think it shows bad manners and poor English skills when someone writes this way in email or chat or what have you.
It's pretty much the reason I am the only person on the face of the earth who doesn't have a cell phone.
Well, I just had to get that off my chest. I'm sorry it's been so long since I blogged; I have had health issues that prevented me from doing so. I hope to get back in the swing and stop neglecting my poor blog from now on. Maybe I'm the one who needs twenty swats with my new paddle? :)

Cigi has left the building...
As always, play safe and play nice, kiddies!

Spanking On TV...I Wish

2009-02-22T12:58:00.001-08:00

Are you like me and miss the "good ol' days" when spanking was seen on an at least semi-regular basis? I don't watch much network television I will admit to that, but it seems the "spanking reference" (as I call it) has made a comeback. I don't really like spanking threats but if that's all you're offered you take what you can get, right?

My favorite show the last few years has been "NCIS"; the show about the Naval Investigative Service. Not likely to have a spanking on that show, right? Well, a girl can dream can't she? I think there is at least one character that can be called "one of us". If you watch the show at all you know I'm talking about "the Goth chick"; Abby. The girl is kinky. Come on...she wears a collar (usually leather), short plaid or leather skirts, high heeled boots, sports tattoos and tops it all off with little girl pigtails or braids. If this girl isn't begging for a spanking, I don't know who is.

To my mind she is begging for someone to take her over their knee and give her that spanking she wants so desperately. But who? To me there is only one logical though politically incorrect choice: her boss, Agent Gibbs played by Mark Harmon. Girls, please...who wouldn't want to get spanked by this hunk and former People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive winner? Doesn't matter if he isn't a spanko...as I said, a girl can dream, can't she?

For those who like that kind of thing (and it looks like Abby does), he is appropriately dominant, has a past with some of the women he has worked with and, most importantly, isn't above slapping the male agents in the back of the head. Abby wants that slap...just a little lower down in my opinion. I think Abby has a huge father figure thing for Gibbs and at times her behavior seems purposely irritating. We in the scene call that bratting. Oh how I wish Gibbs would accommodate the beautiful girl (who stands 5' 10" and has legs to die for) who obviously wouldn't mind being manhandled in this way.
I can think of all kinds of shows where the female lead could use a good spanking from the male lead. My other favorite TV shows are two "Law and Order" spin offs; "Criminal Intent" (which now features the hunky brainiac Jeff Goldblum) and "Special Victims Unit", which features Chris Maloni; another hunk who always appears with his sleeves rolled up and blue eyes blazing...ah, if only he would take the lovely Mariska Hargitay across his knee...I think a spanking scene between the two of them would be so incredibly hot.

Is it just me or did it get hot in here all of a sudden? You know, as they say, I may not know art but I know what I like. I don't think I'll ever see Abby get her wish but fantasies are so much fun...

Be sure to let me know who you think could use (or at least wants) a spanking on TV...

That's all for now...play nice and play safe, Kiddies!

Cigi has left the building. :)

Moving On...But Staying The Same

2009-01-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. Why does it seem like all my scene friends are moving on and I feel like I've been left behind? I have tried a lot of things in the scene but I have always come back to spanking; my first true love. So why do I feel like I don't belong? Why do I feel like I don't fit in; even with other spankos? So many of the tops I have played with are now into other things besides spanking, they are exploring other things and that's fine. But they seem to have forgotten about their spanko friends. One top spanks so well but right now he seems to be more into other BDSM interests. A female switch friend (a dear, dear friend) announced she is no longer going to attend spanking parties, except the ones she organizes for her own group. I was so saddened to hear this.The thought of only see her twice a year (and that's if I can make both parties) makes me feel lost.

I know you can try other things and still remain a spanko. I did it. But I hope my friends who want to experiment with things other than spanking come back to it like I did and for the same reason; it's their true love.

Sorry this is so short but it's late and I have to get to bed now.

That's all for now. Play safe and play nice, Kiddies!

Cigi

Missing A Friend

2008-12-23T19:37:00.001-08:00

We all know someone who left this life far too early and, usually, that loss is particularly hard to bear. Today, I got word that the past president of Crimson Moon passed away after suffering a heart attack. He was someone I didn't know that well, even after six years of attending parties and we only played a few times, but he was Crimson Moon for many, many years. He gave of himself and thought of everyone before himself. He was the "big brother" of every girl in the group.
When I attended my first party, he was the first person to introduce themselves to me. He invited me out to dinner with other group members and helped me feel less terrified. He did that with everyone. We had our moments over the years; our disagreements but you still couldn't deny his place in the spanking community and certainly not in Crimson Moon.
So, as we lay Vince to rest this week, I will remember only the good times and the fun he enabled me to have at countless parties.
I am too saddened and stunned to write more.
Rest in peace, Vince...may you find peace at last. I pray God will comfort your family and others of us who are grieving you tonight.
I'm sorry this is short...but I thought it was appropriate to keep it that way.
Have fun, play safe and spank someone in Vince's memory...hey, it's way he'd want it!
Cigi has left the building....

My Toy Obsession

2008-12-17T14:04:00.001-08:00

It seems my mother was right. She always said I as a "collector" of things. I have so many collections in storage; stamps, Depression Glass, baseball cards, Avon bottles, etc. I get my tendency to be a pack rat from my late father, who could never throw anything away especially if it conjured up fond memories. It seems only natural that, once I got into the spanking scene, I would start to collect more things; such as videos but mostly spanking toys. When I first got active in the scene, I was strictly a bottom and my creed was "The Top provides the toys". Then I started hearing about some bottoms who were friends of mine who had started to purchase their own toys and it began to make sense. For the first several years I was at the mercy of whoever I was playing with and whatever toys they had and chose to use. It began to occur to me that I wasn't getting a lot of spanking with the toys I enjoyed most. So, after talking it over with Cheryl, we agreed to start buying some of our own toys. Well, to make a long story short, "some of our own toys" has become an almost unmanageable accumulation of spanking implements. And I have gone through phases believe me; the first was the cane phase.The result of that is about ten different canes that I love so much I always bring all of them with me to spanking parties. The second was the leather phase, where I got into leather spanking toys. I knew exactly where I wanted to shop for those as I had been salivating over them for a while and telling all the Tops I knew "buy your leather toys from this guy". Of course, I am talking about the London Tanner. I have quite a number of his toys and there are a few more I still have yet to get. Aren't they lovely? They are so well crafted and all handmade. I wish I could get them all!

The next phase was the wood paddle phase. This was the phase before this last one hit me. This happened only because I didn't have any in my collection and, as I was beginning to Top by this time, I thought I should probably get some in the toy bag. I liked to have them used on me too. I wanted only the best quality work, which is why I only purchase toys from three for four different toy makers. I believe in the quality of their work and am loyal to them. I did my usual research online and came across a wonderful gentleman in Texas who makes all kinds of exotic wood paddles. His toys are reasonably priced, too. It's where I got this wonderful paddle made out of purple heartwood. I will give you all the URL's of my favorite toy makers at the end of this post.

There are also a few more of his paddles I want. You can easily see how the collection can begin to be hard to manage. Well, as if that weren't enough, now I have this new phase: the fraternity paddle phase. I believe it's simply because my toy bag is without one and that's why I want one so badly. The collector in me can't be without one. I was at a Crimson Moon party last July and, of course, CM has a vendor fair every year at the summer party. There was a gentleman there with all sorts of fraternity paddles. I admit, at the time, that the thought of having one kind of appealed to me then. But the London Tanner had his usual beautiful table of wares and I had put aside money for the things I wanted. But I kept going back to the table with the fraternity paddles. The one I wanted was a bit out of my price range but it kept catching my eye and I kept going back to his table. Another Top snapped it up and it now resides proudly in his collection. I had lost my chance. But for me part of the fun is the chase; trying to locate just the toy I want. Most of the time that isn't difficult but with this type of toy the hunt may take longer.

Hopefully that same gentleman will have his assortment of frat paddles put out and I will be able to get one. But I hate waiting until July when he will probably show up at the vendor fair of the CM summer party. Meanwhile, I wonder what other obsessions and phases I might go through. And will my wallet be able to take it?
As promised here are the addresses for the toy makers I use. I can vouch for the quality of their work and their customer service. I am a picky customer and if they can please me, they can please anyone.

www.thelondontanners.com (fine leather toys! Say hi to Ian for me!)

www.canes4pain.com (wonderful canes made by Whypdancer. The best!)

www.spanking-paddles.com (makers of paddles from any kind of wood you can imagine; all handmade by Walt.)

There you have it...I urge anyone with an obsession with toys to check out and patronize these fine toy makers.

That's all for now. I am off on the hunt for that elusive frat paddle. This is Cigi signing out saying, as always...play safe and play nice!

Giving Thanks Pt II

2008-12-09T10:17:00.001-08:00

I know sometimes real life gets in the way of our wonderful spanking life and that is what has happened to me. I had knee surgery last Thursday (I'm doing fine and everything went well) and even though it was arthroscopic I still had surgery and I still have pain. The fact that my doctor is very easy on the eyes is a plus.

Now, you may be thinking how does the title fit in with what I'm typing? Well, I have the good fortune to have just about the best friend anyone could ask for and she came and spent the last five days with me, helping me out and scolding me when I went against doctor's orders. My dear, sweet, stern friend is none other than Purple Angel, a person most of you know from her blog "spanking delight". I couldn't have had better care if I had had a nurse to care for me.

I don't think the picture would gross you out too much, so here's what my knee looked like on Saturday, when I was allowed to take the bandages off: Very little bleeding or bruising; thanks to my sister and my "private nurse". By the way, those black marks at the top of my knee are my surgeon's initials. They always make sure they mark the correct body part I guess. Anyway, nothing is too much to ask of either of them and I don't think I thank The Man Upstairs for them often enough. It's not enough to tell yourself "my friends and family know I love them". Every now and then they need to hear it, especially when they go above and beyond for you. The only thing that would have made it any nicer would be if I could have stood some spanking; the endorphins would have been nice. lol But we sat around and watched movies (some spanking some not). We watched The Wizard Of Oz and had wonderful memories of the Our Need and Desire party (where we watched this movie on TV while spanking) and we watched It's A Wonderful Life because I don't believe in watching that movie alone, nor do I cry alone during the sentimental, schmaltzy parts.

So I'm going to lie down and rest now...my nurse is calling! :)

That's all for now, Kiddies...this is your slightly high on pain meds blogger, Cigi, saying play nice and play safe!

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T09:22:00.001-08:00

This is the day every year when people eat, watch football and give thanks; pretty much in that order. This includes me, of course. But the last few years I have had so much to be thankful for and I don't "give thanks" nearly as often as I should. Nor do I "give thanks" to Him who deserves it the most.
This year, as every year, I am thankful for one more year of being here with my family and friends. I am thankful that cancer hasn't beaten me yet and still hope for a day when it won't.
I am thankful to my doctors and the nurses who take care of me and my surgeons, etc. But I am also thankful to my scene friends who have been so encouraging and inspirational, making me laugh and cry and just being here for me in so many ways.
So today, before we start passing around the sweet potatoes and the turkey and stuffing, let's take a moment to bow our heads and give thanks to the One who has made everything possible. If, like me, you are feeling just a bit more thankful than on other days, thank the Lord sincerely for everything you have.
That, I promise, will be my one and only sermon of the year. Now, pass me the turkey!
Happy Thanksgiving to all my blog buddies and scene friends! You all mean the world to me.
That's all for now, Kiddies. Play nice and play safe!

A Sincere Apology

2008-11-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

I am so very sorry that I missed Love Our Lurkers Day. I do have a good excuse...I was in the doctor's office for what seemed like half the day. So, in keeping with my "better late than never" attitude about life in general, I am inviting all my lurkers, whoever you may be, to please leave a comment. I know that just because people don't leave comments doesn't mean they haven't visited but today (and every day) please feel free to leave a comment. It can be about anything or any of my posts...it can be that you like my blog or hate it...that you agree with my opinions or disagree with them. It could be that you'd like to use this paddle on my bottom for missing such an important day in Blogland. Whatever you would like to comment on please do!
And next year I will do better and post on the actual day I am supposed to...geesh.

That's it for now...play nice and play safe, Kiddies...or else!

October Crimson Moon Party Pt. II

2008-11-08T22:13:00.000-08:00

The Chicago Crimson Moon party this October was very fun. The first night of the party fell on Halloween night, which made it very interesting.
We are getting used to the new hotel (we've changed hotels several times in the last few years) and they are getting used to us. I believe they know what we do and as long as we are discreet and well behaved, they don't mind us being there.
As you can see, it didn't take me long to correct my name tag. I took a marker and crossed out my "bottom" designation and wrote "switch". I had a blast. I had play sessions that were spur of the moment and I had some that were planned earlier, but they were all fun in their own way.
As I stated in my earlier post, I shared a room with three other women (my sister and two friends) and it really worked out well. You would think having four women in a room there would be mass chaos but there wasn't. We were very respectful of each other and each other's scenes, etc. The only bad part, of course, was only having one shower. lol
The weekend seemed to go by so fast. You get there as early as you can Friday and stay as late as possible on Sunday and it still seems to fly by. I had the chance for some more play in Sunday morning, but I didn't get out of bed in time. It was a shame, too because I had really wanted to play with this guy.
I think sometimes the best times are driving to the party. The anticipation is so high; you wonder who is going to be there (besides the people you all ready know about) and you wonder how your sessions are going to go. You hope the party will be fun and, of course, you wonder if you might actually meet someone you really like there, too. A lot of couples I know met at spanking parties.
On Saturday morning, we had breakfast and then went back to sleep for a while. At least, that is what I did. Cheryl decided to try to find some play, even though she had no make up on and wasn't in her party clothes yet. I slept for awhile and then grabbed a shower, dressed and wondered to the party suite where my sister was getting caned by a darling man from Texas whom we both love. I couldn't resist the urge to take pictures but I ended up using my digital camera to make a mini video instead. It turned out really great.
There were new people from Ohio that I was really glad to meet. The party was the first for her, I'm not sure about him. But I'm glad I got to play with him (he was a great spanker!) and I'm glad I could suggest and introduce her to her first spanker besides the man she was with. She was very shy even though she watched me get spanked first. But we all left the room and gave them some privacy. She assured me she really enjoyed the spanking, but she didn't go into detail and, as a courtesy, I didn't ask. It was none of my business.
The weather was really cooperative with us this time. I think it was about 75 degrees both days; just lovely weather. I think next weekend, when we attend the Our Need and Desire party we won't get so lucky.
This will be the first time I have attended spanking parties so close together. I think I saved my bottom pretty well and made sure I didn't have any marks that might still be there two weeks later.
I think that party will be fun, too. How can a spanking party not be fun? I have been going for almost six years and I have never had a party I didn't have fun at. Oh I have been to ones that were not as much fun as others, or where something happened that bummed me out, but all in all I've enjoyed every party I've ever been to. And this will be a chance to go to another group's party and meet new people in a smaller party setting.
Saturday really went by in a blur. It seemed I was playing constantly, whether it was topping or bottoming. I think I've come along as a Top but I am still primarily a bottom. That is the selfish side of me; the side that wants to feel all the delicious toys. The Top side of me wants to give that pleasure back to others.
The last play of the party was very special for me. A certain Top who attends parties had told me he loves to strap a girl wearing tight jeans; no bare bottom activity, all the strapping would be done over jeans. I was intrigued by that idea so I asked him if he'd like to try it with me. It took us about two minutes to get to his room. He unloaded all his straps (and most of mine) on me. It was so nice to get that hard, hard strapping right before bed. He used his hand to spank me at the very end, to help as a cool down and to ramp down the endorphins. I was so floaty when we finished I couldn't get up right away...he smiled. He knew he had done his job.
All I could do was go to bed and get some sleep. I usually always sleep later the morning we are leaving than I do on Saturday morning, unless we are leaving at some ungodly hour. But this time we were in no hurry so I slept until 10:00, with Cheryl telling me every half hour to get up. I finally did, of course, and we packed and then there were all those goodbyes to say. That is the part I hate the most; saying goodbye to everyone.
Cheryl and I talked a lot on the way home and discussed our favorite sessions and our favorite people. I sure hope a few people mentioned us as favorites on the way home. I know I had a nice warm, sore bottom to remind me of the fun I had. I can't wait for the next one!
That is about all, Kiddies....play nice and play safe everyone!

October Crimson Moon Party Report

2008-11-04T13:35:00.000-08:00

Returned Sunday from the Halloween Crimson Moon Party and I have to say it was a lot of fun. We had a lot of new, fun people come and most of them were young.
If you are wondering why I chose to put a picture of a hotel room door here, I want to tell you this isn't just any ol' hotel room door. This was the doorway that led to FUN! Oh, I know...it looks just like any other hotel room door...like thousands of others. And if someone else had been staying there, you would be right. But there were four fun girl brats staying there and that meant the room was fun and always had spanking going on. If those walls could talk!!!
First, the person who drove us to the party arrived a day early and we had some play time Thursday night. That made it like a three-day party for Cheryl and I. The next morning we left about 11:00 and had a beautiful drive there. When we got to the hotel we saw many "Moonies" there and had to stop and say hello even before we checked in or had our bags in our room. When we did get checked in and settled into our room I did my usual "an hour and a shower" routine where I rest for an hour, grab a shower, get into party clothes and then hit the party rooms looking for play.
The first person I played with was a gentleman who I have known for five years now. He and I both switch but this time I topped him. It was very enjoyable. There were a lot of good spankers at this party so I spent most of it bottoming. Can you blame a girl?
On Friday night they fed us pasta, bread and salad. It was pretty good, along with drinks, etc. Another member brought her by now famous cheese ball both nights. Halloween night was also the birthday of a very beloved member of our group and he got cake and had "Happy Birthday" sung to him. Many of us offered to take his birthday spanking, which I did.
As I mentioned, we had some new members come to this party, many of them young people. That is always so nice to see, and you know the future of the group is going to be in good hands. There were two couples there who were pretty young and quite new to spanking. By the time Saturday night came around they all had a lot more experience.
I played a lot at this party. I am a gourmet and I usually only play with people who are exceptional spankers or who at least show potential. Now, I am not a snob. I have offered my bottom for "target practice" to many new Tops and have helped in their training. But this time if a Top just didn't look like he would interest me, I passed. There were more than enough Tops at this party that I could be choosy. I had purchased many new toys since the Summer Party in July (to be exact: three new leather straps, two new wood paddles and two new canes) and, of course, I wanted to take them for a test drive. And I wanted to use them on other people, too. I loaned them to a few Tops for use on other bottoms and...well come to think of it, now I think I know why some of the girls didn't talk to me for a while. lol
I also enjoyed spanking one of my roommates. Another roommate took a video with her digital camera, which I can't wait to see. We spent the weekend making little videos instead of taking so many pictures. I know it takes up a lot of room on the memory card but what do they cost? $25 or $30? Well worth it to keep memories on film.
On Saturday most of the partiers dressed in costume. Even though Friday night was Halloween, tradition was adhered to and the costumes came out on Saturday night. The eats were very good on Saturday, too. Homemade beef stew, which we could smell slow cooking to the end of the hall, more bread, salad and lots of desserts. There was also a lot more spanking.
I missed some friends this time around, Purple Angel and some others. But I will be seeing a few of them in a few weeks at the Our Need and Desire party, which Purple Angel hosts.
My tolerance was off the charts at this party. I took more hard spanking, strapping, caning and paddling than I can remember taking at a party for a good while. But my bottom isn't in bad shape today, two days after getting home. Everyone took care of me by giving me a great warm up and wonderful aftercare.
I missed a few Tops I wanted to play with, too, such as my blog buddy, Dr. Ken. I talked to him a few times, but he seemed a bit busy this time. I'm sure it was all those girls who had a thing for a man in uniform...which I do, even if it is a Star Trek TNG uniform. And, Ken, why only 2 ingots? (or whatever those little buttons are called) you should have put on 4 and gone as Captain Picard. Whether you had 2 or 4 you were certainly handsome in your costume.
But I could never let a party go without playing with probably one of my all time favorite Tops, Tubaman from Texas. He is funny and a great spanker...with a wonderful sense of humor. He and his wife are great friends of mine.
Well, that about wraps up this part of my story...be looking in a few days for part II of my report about the Crimson Moon party...
That's all for now...play safe and play nice, Kiddies!

Pre-Party Jitters and Excitement

2008-10-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is the end of October and time to get ready for another Crimson Moon party. This one almost didn't come to pass for me as I have been on crutches for ten days resting a torn tendon in my left knee. When the injury happened my first thought was, "Well, there goes the party." I figured I had injured myself badly and if I didn't need surgery I would be very lucky. Lucky for me, all I needed was to rest it and take two weeks off from work. I have been mind-numbingly bored and the only good that has come from it is that my apartment has never been so clean. Once the pain subsided and I could put pressure on it, I cleaned out of boredom. Doesn't everyone? lol
So the party is a "go" after all and all the arrangements are made. While I don't have the nervous/excited/terrified feeling that accompanied my first few parties, I am very excited. Meeting my friends again (and the prospect of meeting a few new ones) is always wonderful for me. Nothing recharges my batteries like a weekend among my spanking friends. There is just something about being out of town (way out of town) and knowing you basically had to lie about what you were doing to get the weekend off, staying in a hotel, getting about 10 hours total sleep for the weekend and getting spanked with hundreds of different implements to help re-energize a spanko.
While I'm gone this weekend, I won't have access to my computer. They have a couple computers for guests to use but they are right in the lobby for anyone to look over your shoulder at what you're reading, so I think I will just wait until I return home to check emails, blog comments, etc. So just know that I am excited about the party but I have a million things to do before I leave and, while I'm doing them, I'll be whistling a happy tune.

I promise to blog about my adventures as soon as I can after returning home; for those of you who just have to know what I was up to. lol

Have a great weekend and hopefully I'll be able to blog Monday...
Until then...play safe and play nice, Kiddies!

Switching

2008-10-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know I have always considered myself a bottom. For five years I have explored every avenue of my bottom side and would have been very happy to just continue that had not thoughts of topping entered my mind. I don't remember when this happened. I tried it when I first started bottoming, giving a switch friend of mine (or at least making the attempt) a birthday spanking. I did it only because he asked me to and I found out this is the worst reason to spank someone; as a personal favor/gift. I'm afraid my heart wasn't in it and I couldn't quite pull off the Domme role. In fact, I couldn't even pinken his bottom. And, believe me, I tried. But I spent the whole time just wanting to be over his knee and so I'm afraid I daydreamed through much of it. I know it was a disappointment to him but I warned him ahead of time, "I'm no Top." And I know he didn't appreciate that I just went through the motions of spanking him. I made an awful botch of it simply because that wasn't where I was at in my journey through the spanking universe. I wanted to explore this thing from the bottom because it was all so new to me. Well, long story short, it's not so new to me anymore.
So enter those Toppy type thoughts. I won't call them fantasies because I didn't really fantasize about it. I just kept having feelings like "I wonder what it would be like to top someone now; after experiencing the bottom for five years, I bet I could make a decent Top."
I believe none of us is all one thing or the other. We aren't all submissive or all dominant. It takes a little of both of those things to make it in the real world. So it came as really no surprise to me that I wouldn't turn out to be all bottom; that I could top, too and enjoy it much more than that experiment in terror years ago.
As a party was coming up, I went about deciding who I should trust this delicate information to. After all, after years of being "Cigi, the brat who can take it all", I was suddenly going to become "Miss Cigi...spanker of young men and ladies." In other words, I wanted to be both those things. I wanted someone who would be discreet about it and who had knowledge of topping and bottoming so I looked for the best switch I could find and, if I may say so, it was the perfect choice. Not only is this particular man a complete pain slut, he's also a consummate show-off and a wonderful teacher for "this thing we do". He let me use every toy I had and tutored me in how to use them correctly and safely. I all ready had the desire and the basic know-how just from being a bottom. But a lot of toys (particularly canes) take a lot of practice. After spanking him three times during the weekend, he told me, "You will make a very respected Top some day." I know he appreciated that I had asked him if he would be the first person to allow me to Top them. I ended up topping about five people that weekend including two women, who really enjoyed it. So I have to say that, although I am no longer 100% bottom, I have not become 100% top. I still prefer to bottom but I have so many lovely toys, how could I not share them with other spankos?
I know how nice a spanking is supposed to feel. I know most bottoms (at least this one) would like to be spanked by a non-threatening, "this is just for fun" type person. I know at a party, that is the prevailing attitude. That 's the type of spanker I want to be. I want people to say, "She's fun no matter which side of the lap she's on." A Top/Dom friend of mine once told me, "Switches are like bisexuals...they just don't know what they want." I tend to think that switches get 50% more opportunity to have fun than just tops or bottoms.
So if you see me at a party and you want to ask me to play, even though my name tag says I am a bottom, it's ok to ask me if I will switch with you. It goes along with that 50% more fun thing.
So I haven't stopped bottoming, have no fear, I just went down another avenue on the road of my spanking journey.

Play nice...and play safe...
That's all for now, Kiddies!

Fetlife

2008-10-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hi folks...
I recently discovered Fetlife.com; a great site for those of us bitten by the spanko bug, or whatever kind of fetish or kink you might have. Believe me, the 50,000 plus members of Fetlife have thought of everything. I will list ones I had no idea existed or could even be accomplished. I apologize beforehand for the crass language and these are in no particular order:

*Bald Women (who knew?)
*Cooking With Cum (same thing!)
*Armpit Hair (I'll leave that one alone)
*Figging (had to actually have that one explained to me!)
*Face spitting (gross!)
*Farting (this turns people on???)
*anal fisting (didn't even know this one was possible! ouch)
*human toilet (enough said!)
*vampirism (is this a fetish or just a fashion fad??)

Now, I am not demeaning nor laughing at those who practice the above. But it sure makes my little spanking thing seem pretty tame. However, there are plenty of spanking groups on Fetlife and I have met many new friends there. The site is easy to navigate and you can pretty much post whatever you want as long as you keep it respectful.
There is even a Chicago Crimson Moon group there and Purple Angel started an Our Need and Desire group there, too. In my opinion, it might just make the old Yahoo groups obsolete. Yahoo is always deleting adult groups (this has happened to me a few times when I log in and find half my groups are gone) and this site seems like it's here to stay. Everyone who runs the site is kinky so we don't have to worry about offending vanillas. You can post cool pictures there, too without fear that they will get deleted by a moderator. Are some of them in bad taste? Absolutely! But you don't have to look at them if you don't want to. So if you are a spanky type person (and if you're reading this I hope you are) stop by and look at the groups. It takes just a few seconds to join and it's absolutely free. You never know who you might meet there!

That's it for the shameless plug of Fetlife for tonight...
Play nice and play safe, Kiddies!

The Crying Game

2008-10-05T08:42:00.000-07:00

Boy, you'd think I could come up with a title that was a little more original than this, but I've been under the weather (read: I feel like crap) so this is the best I could do.
I was chatting with a gentleman last night (bad idea) and it was obvious this man had never had a real, live woman over is knee. Or if he did I felt sorry for the women he did play with. I invited questions (another bad idea) as I usually do with new people who haven't quite taken that first step to spank or get spanked.
He did ask some intelligent questions such as do you take precautions so your neighbors won't hear the spanking noise? But he also asked some questions that told me that he either read too much spanking fiction which, in my mind, is almost always made extra severe and humiliating just for the sake of titillation or he watched too many spanking videos with that all important punishment theme. In other words, as I like to say, please get on the next train to the Real World.
He asked me, "How long do you like to be held or comforted after a spanking?"
I told him, "Usually not long. I give a hug after a spanking but then usually there is just more spanking after that."
To which he replied, "You don't like to be held while you cry?"
Cry? Yes, I finally figured out that I was chatting with a completely clueless wanna be who had no idea how a real spanking went.
"I don't cry from a spanking," I told him. This seemed to truly shock him.
"Don't you get spanked for punishment?"
"No," I replied, "I had a disciplinarian but he's been dead for 15 years."
This man then offered me his deepest condolences on the loss of my disciplinarian. I thought I was being funny but he took it completely seriously.
"I'm talking about my father!" I told him and put a nice smiley at the end so he would know I was joking with him about who my disciplinarian had been.
"Don't you feel like you are sometimes that same little girl who needs to be punished for doing naughty things?" he asked.
I finally had to break it to him, "I'm 47-years-old. I don't do 'naughty' things anymore and if I do, I know I can go to my God and He will forgive me."
Then because I brought up God, he didn't want to really chat anymore. I felt completely sorry for him. With his attitude and ignorance I don't know if he'll ever get someone to play with. So much of our chat had been him asking if I had ever cried from a spanking (as an adult), if I wanted to cry from a spanking, why I felt I didn't need to cry from a spanking and then he gave me websites I could visit and chat with women who regularly cried from a spanking and they could tell me about the catharsis and healing that takes place when a Dominant authority figure holds you accountable and spanks you as punishment, etc. No thanks. I would just be wasting those people's time.
The truth of the matter is I have only cried one time from a spanking and it was actually a caning. The man doing the caning was caning me unbelievably hard. On the 11th stroke, I safeworded him instead of stopping he convinced me to take one more stroke. I cried after that but I'm not so sure what really caused the tears. Was it the pain of that 12th stroke or was it the pain I felt that someone I trusted and liked as a person had shrugged off my safeword? I swear for all the world, looking back on it now, he was satisfied with himself. It was like he had accomplished his task.
That has been the only time I have ever cried from a spanking. Even when I allowed myself to be punished for smoking (I was trying to quit and foolishly thought this would help) I didn't cry from it. And I'm not exaggerating, the guy tore my bottom up. Not only did I not cry but I didn't quit smoking either.
I'm not trying to put down those who want or need discipline in their lives. Most of the people I know who engage in this type of activity didn't have the positive and loving relationship I had with my father. In many cases either there was no clear cut authority figure in the home or there was long range, chronic abuse going on. When you don't have that loving authority figure that makes you feel safe and cherished and who comforts you and says he loves you even after inflicting pain on you, it sends a positive message to a young child. I don't blame anyone for trying to find that father or mother figure they didn't have growing up. But not all of us are looking for that and when I chat with people who find out that I'm perfectly ok and that I have very little baggage from my childhood they can't understand how I got interested in spanking. Well, interested is a good word, but it hardly conveys my true feelings about spanking. A better word might be obsessed.
So if you want to cry from a spanking (and many people do need to do that occasionally) more power to you. But treat those of us who don't like we are weird or different. Some spankos did have loving parents who both nurtured and disciplined them. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.

That's all for now, Kiddies! Play nice and play safe...
Cigi

New Toys!

2008-09-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day off from work so I lounged around in pj's most of the day. That is until about 11:30 when I heard a knock knock at my door. I told Cheryl, "That sounds like a knock knock at the door!" She is always accusing me of hearing someone at the door when there is no one there but this time there was. Well, not someONE but someTHING. It was an innocent-looking box marked priority mail and I knew exactly what was in it even before I saw the return address.

My new toys were here! Don't you just love getting new spanking toys? Mine came from the source of all my leather toys: The London Tanners in Florida. Opening the box and unwrapping those lovely pieces of leather made me feel like that six-year-old girl who unwrapped the Easy Bake Oven many Christmases ago. And like the girl who couldn't wait to make my Dad a cake, I couldn't wait to feel what my new toys felt like. Now, I have no man in my life at the moment and no prospects of play until probably the weekend after next. How can you expect a girl to wait that long? Well, to make a long story short, I didn't....

Now, I tell everyone who is dumb enough to ask that my sister and I don't spank each other. I get that question a lot, usually from people who have watched too many videos or read too much spanking fiction. In other words, get on the next train to the Real World. In the Real World, sisters (even ones in the spanking scene) don't spank each other...that would be icky. But I wanted to feel what my new toys felt like and so did Cheryl, so we agreed for the sake of just getting a feel for our new toys, we would do it just this one time. A few swats with each one, just to get a feel for the two straps we purchased. In short, they felt lovely and I can't wait to bring them to the next parties I am attending; the Crimson Moon party in October and the Our Need and Desire party in mid-November.

I can't wait to have them really used on me and to use them on others, of course. Such wonderfully luscious leather should be shared with others. If I knew how to insert a picture on this darn thing, I would include pictures of my new toys, but alas, you'll just have to come to a party and see them for yourself! :)

That's all for now....
Play safe and play nice, Kiddies!

Cigi

My Spanking Neighbors

2008-09-06T13:32:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, Dr. Ken wrote a fictitious story about hearing his neighbors in spanking play. He had me spellbound until he admitted it was just a made up story.

Well, I have a "spanking neighbors" story to tell and mine is totally true. It occurred about four years ago in the neighborhood I used to live in. I was living in the house I grew up in at the time. I was driving home from a long, hard day at work one Friday night. I wasn't particularly thinking about anything, just kind of listening to the radio in my car humming the tune. Traffic wasn't too bad that time of night (it was late...about 11:30 pm) so it didn't take long to make the turn into my neighborhood. As I came around the corner and turned onto the cul de sac I lived on, I happened to slow down at the end of the block, preparing for the curve that was coming. I slowed down enough to see my neighbors (they lived only four doors down from my house) through opened curtains in the living room. She was dressed in a multi-colored print sundress with her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail. He was dressed in a golf shirt and shorts. I was drawn to them. Now, I am no voyeur or anything, but something about this scene got on my "spanking radar". Sure enough, he sat down beside her on the sofa and before my mind could even register it, he pulled her sternly over his knee. But, I noticed she was smiling. I think they obviously forgot they hadn't drawn the curtains. I only saw him spank her on her dress because a car came up behind me and honked at me to get moving, so I never saw the whole scene. The next Friday I dashed home, hoping this was an every Friday night thing, but to my disappointment, they remembered to close the curtains.

I never did find out if that only happened once or if I did indeed have "spanking neighbors". I tend to want to believe they played spanking games all the time. I also like to believe they may have been walking down the street, hand in hand, one sunny afternoon and heard spanking noises coming from my house and were inspired. I assure you I always remembered to pull down my blinds whenever I had "company" over.

At any rate, there was just something about this scene that was very alluring. Maybe it was that dress and her bare legs and feet. Or maybe it was the way he took over his knee so masterfully, with that stern look on his face. I don't know what it was but it worked for me on every level. Soon after that, I moved to where I live now. I often wonder about those people and if they still have spanking games. They were both young and attractive and I would often wave to them as I drove by if they were outside. I brought them a plate of cookies when they moved into the neighborhood and they were very appreciative and gracious to me. But I wonder if they know that was me who watched them that Friday night; a witness to something I was not unfamiliar with and of which I definitely approved.

For those who just have to know every detail, all I saw him spank her with was his hand, but it seemed good and solid to me; not wimpy or unsure of himself. And, she was smiling the entire time I watched them. The one thing I will admit to was that I had to stifle the urge to run to the door, knock and ask if I could be next!

That's all for now, kiddies...play safe and play nice!

July Crimson Moon Party Report

2008-08-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has taken so long to write about what was probably the most fun party I have ever attended but real life kind of got in the way after arriving home.
First, the drive up was really fun. Three girls in a rented car on their way to a spanking party; I wonder what people would have thought if they had known. :-) We ran into a thunderstorm but it didn't last long and anyway, if it had, I wouldn't have cared. As it turns out, I didn't leave the hotel all weekend.
The first person I played with was someone I had been planning to play with since the last party. He is a switch and I wanted to try out my topping skills. Since he is someone who would be willing to lend his bottom to such an experiment (and to give constructive advice) I had asked if I could top him. This proved to be a successful endeavor, with both parties happy. Don't worry, guys...I'm not a switch. I'm still about 90% bottom but just like to top every now and then, although I did top about five times at this party. lol
There were some new Tops at this party and I quickly got on their good sides (translation: I bratted them cutely) and got some very nice spanking in return.
I met some new bottoms too and gave them my advice about the best spankers in the group. I think they were happy with their choices as I saw all of them smiling every time I saw them during the weekend.
The only thing that kind of bummed me out was that my good friend, Purple Angel, who Cheryl and I had ridden up with, couldn't really enjoy the party because of pain in her leg. But I understand she got taken very good care of while she laid in bed and got waited on like the princess she is.
Saturday was the vendor fair. While there weren't that many vendors in attendance, my two favorites (both from Florida) were there. Ian from London Tanners did his usual great job of selling (and demoing) his toys. He left with a bit of my money. He also demoed one of his prison straps on me. I didn't know which one because, as you might guess, he was behind me. I think it was his Canadian Prison strap but I'm not sure. All I know is that that thing got my attention and the attention of everyone in the room who saw the demo. The toy looks nasty (and it is) but I really loved it. And, of course, he was happy to demonstrate his wonderful caning technique, too. If you would like to see his vast array of toys, please visit Ian's website: thelondontanners.com
The other vendor who was there had an array of wood and leather toys as well as canes. I had bought a razor strap from him at last July's party and I wanted to let him know that it was still "working" properly. He had some nice razor straps, rug beaters and fraternity paddles. I had my eye on one of them (one that wasn't too heavy and ridiculous) but my funds were low and I couldn't afford any of them, though they were reasonably priced. What I did come away with was one of Ian's "Nannie Paddles", a new cane (a thinner one to compliment all my thicker ones) and a clothes brush thrown in to boot. The clothes brush is very nasty. It is neither plastic nor wood. We aren't sure what it's made out of but it does pack a nasty sting.
Friday and Saturday nights we got very good eats, thanks to members of the group who cooked tirelessly. Friday night was brats (which I thought was appropriate) and the fixings. Saturday night was pork roast with sauerkraut and other sides. Yeah, I know...sauerkraut at a spanking party? What was he thinking? I didn't have any though just to be on the safe side.
I got so much fun spanking play at this party AND wore my cutest purple panties on Friday just for Purple Angel and, wouldn't you know it, she didn't even get to see them. Her beloved GC saw them and reported that they were, indeed, adorable. I thanked him for the compliment, of course.
I played very hard at this party but thanks to the Tops who spanked me for their expertise and practiced hands, I didn't need my first aid kit at all. But I'm still glad I brought it. You never know when you might need it. I still never attend a spanking party without it.
I felt quite a few different spanking styles at this party. I played with a few who only spanked by hand and they were lovely, both the spankers and the spankings. I played with a few who didn't quite know what a warm up was, but that is their style. And I played with a few who loved their toys so much the warm up I did get was cursory. But I love that feeling, too. I assure you I didn't take anything I didn't want. And this time when I told people "no wood", there were no problems. I did take some paddlings with wood paddles or hairbrushes (but only three or four swats with each) but mostly it was leather straps and my beloved canes.
It was so much fun exploring my top side at this party, too. I was brand spanking new to topping, but the way I started was that I knew what I liked as a bottom and I just started there and listened to the people bottoming to me. The way I do it is I just opened my toy bag and said, "Take out what you think you might like and leave the rest." I think that worked out pretty well. And I promise you if someone said "I don't do wood" or "I don't like the cane" no one was pressured to do it anyway. I would never be that kind of spanker because I know how much I hate it when I'm bottoming. With practice I may become pretty good at it. lol
When Sunday comes I am usually very torn, especially after a three-day party. I am usually torn between wanting the party to last another day and wanting to get home and sleep in my own bed. This party was no exception.
I can't wait until the next one in October which, this year, will fall on Halloween. That should be fun!
Some people were missed at this party, too, due to health issues. I pray for them everyday. And, of course, my sweet friend, Purple Angel, didn't get to enjoy the party much, either but there will always be next time.
And I met a Top who is coming here to play on Saturday...hopefully I'll have some fun to blog about then!
Everyone have a great day and I'll write more about specifics of the party another time. Till then...

Cigi has left the building...play safe and play nice everyone!

Serious Subject

2008-07-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Getting ready for a spanking party takes a lot of planning for a girl. You have to figure out how many outfits to take and how much this and that your suitcases can hold. And of course you have to pack your toys.

But there is one thing I absolutely positively never go to a spanking party without and that is my First Aid Kit. All it contains is a tube of arnica cream, a tube of Neosporin (the kind that has a pain reliever as well), a package of oversized Band Aids and some Q-tips for applying the Neosporin. Of course, keep the Q-tips in a separate little bag to keep them sanitary. I carry this in a little clear plastic make up bag I bought at Walgreens for about $1.50.

I believe a bottom should always carry their own aftercare products. You can't always count on a Top having arnica or Band Aids if they are needed. Most of them will carry lotion but that is about all. When you have bruises or broken or abraded skin, lotion is useless.
I know we all like to think that spanking is this fun activity, and it is. But some of us play at a level that is more likely to result in broken skin or bruises. You have to be prepared for anything. Most Tops are mortified when they see that you have broken skin or that the lovely strap they just strapped you with 100 times has abraded the skin. But I know a few who I would swear do it on purpose. But that is a story for another post.
It was a wise bottom who told me at my first party not to come to a spanking party without the items I mentioned. She was right and I have thanked her after each party for her sound advice.
Ice from the hotel ice machine also works on welts and surface bruising. It also feels very good on a hot bottom.
A lot of bottoms have asked me about arnica. I am one of the bottoms who swears by it. Others are skeptical but I know it works for me. It is available in tablet form, a gel and cream. I prefer the cream because it's less sticky and stings less going on than the gel.
It's nice to lay there and just get your bottom rubbed with arnica. But you can't just rub it on like you do lotion. It has to be worked deep into the muscles, almost like kneading bread dough. In the meantime, it also rubs out those hard spots you get from a wood paddle. It takes time and patience but it can be done. Do this every time you have a hard session and again before bed. When you wake up, most if not all of the bruising should be gone.The arnica should be allowed to soak into the skin completely before you play again or be prepared for a very stingy surprise. I've also found a nice herbal hot pack of lavender and red raspberry works on light bruising. It's relaxing, too.
I've never had a major injury but I've had cuts and bruises and welts. You need to take care of them as you would if the injury was on your finger. Don't ignore it thinking when you soap down during your daily hot shower that will be enough. Make sure you are keeping any injury where blood was drawn covered and sterile until a scab forms.
What I hate is that itchy phase that comes a few days after abraded skin starts healing. Keep your skin hydrated with plenty of Vitamin E or Aloe Vera lotion. That should keep the itching to a minimum.
Also, drink plenty of water if you are bruised. It flushes the by products of broken red blood cells out of your system as the bruises heal. I was very deeply bruised only once in the five years I have been in the scene. The bruises were not just surface stuff, either. Each cheek was bruised from top to bottom and from left hip to right hip. I have never to this day figured out why I bruised to badly. But the bruises took two months to heal completely. I know that couldn't have been good for my body.
So when we say "play safe" it is more than just playing safe, sane and consensual. It means taking along whatever you might need if you play a little too hard. Remember accidents happen and they happen to everyone.
Have fun but be prepared.

That's all for now...hope this makes sense to everyone. I'm kinda tired tonight. But with a party coming up it made sense to remind myself and my spanking friends about this all important point.

Have a great night everyone!

Hugs,
Cigi

My Opinion on an old Topic

2008-07-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

I have seen just about everyone blog about this subject...the all important subject to female spankees. Yes, I am talking about panties.
I just recently found a great sale (and by great I mean GR8...$14.00 panties for $2.00...does it get better than that, ladies?) so I bought like 15 or 20 pairs. Now I have to go through my undie drawer and get rid of about that many pairs. The trouble with that is that some of those panties have sentimental value. How do you get rid of the panties you were wearing the first time a special person spanked you? How do you get rid of a pair of panties that you wore to your first spanking party? My answer: you don't. You wait until your sister is at work and you get rid of her panties. This sounds fair to me. lol Of course, I'm not going to do that but you have to draw the line at how many freakin' pairs of panties two people need. Cheryl used to work at a higher end department store so she was always bringing home cute jeans and tops and, of course, panties. I finally had to tell her, "No more panties. We have enough!" Of course her reply was always the same..."A spanking girl can't have too many pairs of cute panties." She's right, darn it.
When I first got into the scene, I naturally went for lacy, virginal panties. All my panties were lacy and delicate. After having several pairs of very expensive panties torn by over-eager Tops, and finding that lacy panties aren't all that comfortable, I decided to go with cute instead of sexy. I know you are all just dying to know about my panties, but this is something that us girls think about. Some Tops like cute panties and will make a big show of pulling them down after spanking on them for a prolonged period of time. Others do what I call the "yank and spank"...they don't care what kind of panties you are wearing and usually barely notice. All they know is that your panties are in the way of the real prize for them...your bare bottom.
And don't even get me started on Tops who dislike thongs...ahhh, too late. Apologies to Dev but I do own some thongs and I do wear them occasionally because some Tops find them very hot. One top told me, "It's all about how a nice thong frames a pretty bottom"...or some such nonsense. I like to wear a thong under a pretty dress with thigh high stockings. When a Top is spanking me and he goes to lift my dress, he gets a surprise...a bare bottom where a pair a panties usually is. I had one Top accuse me of trying to give him a heart attack in this manner. Talk about high praise! lol
I remember saying in another post that I don't have what I call a "spanking wardrobe" but I do splurge on panties. Well, with the sale I found, I didn't have to splurge.
I'm going back to tomorrow for the bath towels they have on sale. :)

That's all for now...Cigi has left the building. Goodnight, All!

Spanked in Public

2008-06-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

Here, at last, is my own personal (well, one of them anyway) spanked in public stories.

It happened about four years ago right in my own hometown. There was a Top who Cheryl and I used to get together with but not with much frequency. He lived out of state (way out of state) and we only saw him when he had to come close to town for business. On this occasion, the business was our birthday. He bought a bottom friend of ours with him.

We rented a hotel for the day and played there until all three of us girls were red, sore and hungry. The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless (as he will be called from now on) was kind enough to take us all out for dinner, his treat. You'd think Cigi would be on her best behavior...well, I was. I was on my best brat behavior.
On my birthday (or any other day) this was the best you could expect from me. Now, mind you, I wasn't an obnoxious or malicious brat. But The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless had driven a long way and I'm sure he was tired from driving, not to mention spanking three bottoms. We went to one of my favorites restaurants and Cheryl and I were told we could order whatever we wanted, money was no object. The three of us girls looked at each other and I'm sure The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless was sorry he had told us "money is no object."
The table was laden with steak, lobster, crab cakes and the like. I like sea food but I love a good steak too so...I got both! :)
We had a wonderful dinner actually and most of the time we girls displayed our best table manners. We were, after all, in public. But that didn't stop me from throwing my napkin in his face or knocking his fork on the floor when he wasn't looking or putting the onion slices from my salad in his glass of water. He smiled patiently; a promise of things to come.
We talked about spanking and some of our experiences and past parties we had gone to. It was actually a very nice time. However...
walking out to the parking lot to his car was a long walk. The restaurant was busy and The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless never liked parking his car around others. He parked it way off in the lower forty. It was December and it was cold and he walked to his car trailed by three brats who were complaining the whole way. Now, The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless was a nice man but vain about his hair. His girlfriends always said he took longer to do his hair than they did! So I made a point of mussing his hair. He would ignore me and patiently swipe it back into place. When that didn't work at getting a rise out of him, I resorted to kicking him in the backside, which he found annoying if not painful.
The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless turned to face me, "Cigi, I know you can think of a cuter way to brat me. Something that's more 'you'." he said.
"I tried messing up your hair and you ignored me," I pouted.
The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless pointed a finger at me, "Wait til we get back to the motel. I promise not to ignore you."
He was from the South and even the most luxurious hotel was a "motel" to him. It was part of his charm.
When he turned back to resume walking to his car, I kicked him in the backside again. What the heck..it was fun! But I could tell it was very annoying to him and that was something I didn't want to be. We had reached the car by this time and I was just about to apologize for kicking him when he took me by the shoulders.
"Oh no!" the other brat who was with us proclaimed, "here it comes!" She was laughing, perhaps because for once it wasn't her who was about to be publicly chastised.
Before I could conjure up a believable apology, The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless bent me over the hood of his car. I was aware of people around us and I remember some of them walked by and some actually stopped to watch.
The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless pulled up my coat, then my dress exposing white silken panties and nude thigh high stockings. I protested, "This isn't (the state he came from) this is Illinois! You could get arrested for this!"
The Spanker Who Shall Remain Nameless pulled off his best Tim Holt nasal twang and said, "It'll be a pleasure to go to jail for this!"
I heard laughter from our small audience. Then he started to spank me. Not the "oh this is a playful warm up" kind of spanking, Oh no. This was the "you've bratted me to the end of my patience and this is just a sample of what you're gonna get when we get back to the motel" kind of spanking. Not to put too fine a point on it, it really stung and I wasn't so sure he wouldn't lower my panties in public, too. But luckily for me he didn't. Luckily for him, no police were in the area.
All the while he scolded me for my behavior, both in the restaurant and out in the parking lot.
He reddened my bottom and I'm sure my other cheeks were blushing, too.
When he put my coat back down and gave me some conciliatory rubs, I can swear to this day I heard applause.
I got into the car with as much dignity as I could muster, while Cheryl and my brat friend laughed at my fake anger and mock indignity. And, of course, once we got back to the "motel", I got the rest of the spanking. Ahhhhhh....it was wonderful!

That's all for now...stay tuned for more "Cigi gets spanked in public" stories in the future!

Telling Stories

2008-06-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I know...you have been checking this blog for a month waiting, just waiting, for Cigi to write more of her amazing pearls of wisdom. Well, I shall keep you waiting no longer.

I have a few scene friends who are writers of spanking fiction. Even my own sister has tried her hand at it, and done well I might add. But she is too shy to let anyone but me and a few other people read her stories. Now, I think my sister is a fantastic writer, but maybe I'm a bit biased. I cannot remember a time from our childhood where she didn't have a pencil in her hand writing something. In our years at school, her essay or book report was always held up as the correct way to write: every word spelled correctly and every dot, comma and semi-colon in it's place.
So why now, when she really has something to write about, doesn't she write about it? I have long wondered if maybe it was a question of keeping her innermost thoughts and fantasies to herself. Or maybe, now that she doesn't have to make things up about her spanking life, the thrill is gone from writing for her. If you have read her blog, you know she can write.

I myself have never sat down and tried to write a spanking story, fiction or non-fiction. This blog helps me when the urge to write hits me. I do promise that one day soon I will attempt a spanking story. Knowing several spankos who also write, is encouraging as well.

I am often reminded of something Cat Stevens said. Those of you who were around in the 70's knows who he is, right? Well, he said in an interview that he asked another British pop star (very famous at the time) how he should go about righting songs. He was told "Write about what you know. Don't try to write about things you don't know about." I have always kept that in mind. Now, even when you are writing something totally fiction I believe it must have a ring of truth and therefore at least a small shred of plausibility. Now, I don't know anything about rocket science, quantum theory (whatever the heck that is), or even road construction (all I know about road construction is that we have a lot of it going on here in Illinois). But I do know about spanking. You would think it would be a pretty easy thing for me to write a story about. But it's not. Because I have not even a shred of imagination, it's very difficult for me to write about something that didn't actually happen, if not to me then at least to someone else.

But I will give it a whirl...maybe I'll write about the time a Top I know put me over the hood of his car in the parking lot of a busy restaurant...how many of you would like to hear about that? :-)

That's all for tonight, children. Go to bed now!

Every Picture Tells A Story

2008-04-22T18:19:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember I have been inexplicably drawn to spanking pictures. I can even remember the first spanking image that fascinated me. It was in kindergarten (this would have been 1965 for those of you old enough to remember that year lol). We were looking at our "Sally, Dick and Jane" books and one page completely captivated me. I completely forget the story, of course, but I will never forget the picture. It was a picture of the littlest kid, Sally, spanking her doll for some infraction. Every time my teacher, Mrs. Grimm (whose name fit her I assure you) would make us turn to another page, I would flip back to that one the minute it was safe to do so. Remember, it was 1965 and little girls still spanked their dolls because in 1965 you could still spank little girls and not have DCFS called on you.
Even now, 43 years later, I still remember that. While I don't recall the exact picture, I remember my preoccupation with that picture vividly. Since that time, other spanking pictures have caught my eye and my fascination.
A few years later, when I had discovered the wonders of the school library, I came across a book (I forget the title) that was actually a book of poems. I don't remember any other part of the poem except (of course) the part that talks about a spanking. I believe it was about the color red and mentioned some things that were red. It was beautifully illustrated. This certain picture featured a chubby-faced little girl (who looked suspiciously like Shirley Temple, no doubt the epitome of the perfect child at the time this book was written) with her little panties down and her bottom showing. The picture was a drawing and it was in black and white. As you might expect, the only color in the picture was this little girl's red bottom cheeks. A caption under the picture mentioned her "little spanking place" being red. Big, fat tears were emanating from her eyes. Another picture I was drawn to. I took that book out of the library again and again just to see that picture.
I remember in my high school yearbook from sophomore year (that would have been 1976 for those of you keeping score at home) there is a two-page pictorial called "Life At Central" (which was the high school I attended). We had a Christmas dance in the gym and, of course, we had to have mistletoe. However, some of the boys decided that, instead of kisses, any girl who got caught under the mistletoe would get spanks instead. There, on the second page, is an absolutely gorgeous picture of a typically dressed 1970's boy (T-shirt bearing the logo of the high school sports team and bell bottom blue jeans) with a typically dressed 1970's girl under his arm, his other arm in mid-air. Both boy and girl were smiling. I was at the party but stayed completely away from the mistletoe, as I was not yet ready for a spanking from the star pitcher of the high school baseball team, who, by the way, I had a huge crush on. This picture is one I go back to again and again. In fact, whenever I open that yearbook it falls right to that page that's how much I have stared at that picture. I knew both kids but the picture was still captivating. I am pretty sure the boy is a spanko. Only a spanko could come up with spanks instead of kisses for getting caught under the mistletoe. I'm also pretty sure he's the same boy who threw my sister, Cheryl, into the swimming pool our freshman year and called it her "initiation" into high school. Ahhhh memories!
I recently saw a picture on Devlin's blog of an old picture that has really captivated me. It is in black and white. As near as I can guess it is from the late 20's or maybe early 30's. It shows a woman with her dress up, bent over a love seat or something, being held down by a rather stern-faced man bearing a birch bundle. His sleeves are rolled up. Now, I think that picture is probably posed or something, at any rate there isn't a mark on the lady's bottom. Maybe the marks came later, but that picture captures my attention again for some odd reason. You can't see the lady's mouth but I have to believe she is smiling. I even use this particular picture for my screen saver. It is just a beautiful picture. And though there is nothing sexual going on, to me it is highly erotic. I think that's because I tend to think of birchings as very erotic. Anyway all the birchings I have ever gotten were wonderfully pleasurable experiences.
I tend to scan websites for nice spanking pictures and I also have some very nice ones that are actually of me. Some people seem to be drawn to the sounds of spanking. I am drawn more to the visual aspects of spanking. I sometimes wish I had eyes in the back of my head, so I could see the look on the face of the person who is spanking me.
I love to see spanking pictures though now, of course, my taste runs to men and women spanking each other and not little girls spanking their dolls. I guess I have grown up... a little!

That's all for tonight...have a great one everybody!

Current News

2008-04-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

Since it's been a while since I blogged, I figured I would bring you up to date (since you're all obviously waiting with baited breath) on what's happening with me.

First of all, I managed to sleep through an earthquake. Can you believe it? We have an earthquake that registers 5.4 on the Richter Scale and neither Cheryl nor I woke up. I can see if I lived in California, where this is just considered a minor thing, but I live in Illinois and earthquakes are pretty rare. I thought 5.4 would be a pretty good shaking, but it didn't even knock our clock off the wall. I can sleep through an atomic bomb so I'm not surprised I slept through it. Not even an earthquake can make me get out of bed one minute before the alarm clock goes off.

Secondly, some of you know this and most of you don't. I have been fighting cancer for the last two years. I have had my ups and downs with it; going through chemotherapy, surgery to remove my cancerous right breast, 33 radiation treatments and continuing multiple drugs. I discovered early on that the cancer had spread to my bones.Three months ago I discovered the cancer had returned in the skin where my breast was. My surgeon left the extra skin so I could have reconstructive surgery. Now, that is out the window. I am on meds now and they seem to be working. I had a PET scan and it showed no spread to any of my organs. This was an immense relief.
Next Thursday I have an appointment with my oncologist to set up tests to find out if the lump in my left breast is also cancer. If it is, I will probably lose that breast too and have to have more chemo and more radiation.
I want to say right now that I am not posting this to get sympathy. Most of my friends in Crimson Moon know this has been an on-going battle. But there is probably going to be some major breaks in my blogging. I will try to keep everyone posted about how things are going with me.
I have been in two minds about posting about my health, mostly because this is supposed to be a blog about spanking, not about my health problems. But, as you may have noticed, I don't blog every day. In fact, there are some months where I only write one or two days. I still work full time (going to do this as long as I can) and I come home from work extremely tired. Sometimes all I can do is fall on the couch and eat if Cheryl forces me to. I am on some pretty strong meds, and quite frankly, sometimes I am just too loopy to write anything.
My spanking life is more important to me now, more than it's ever been, in fact. When someone tells you, "Life is too short for ______" believe them.
As I said, I will try to post as often as I can and I will certainly post updates for anyone who's interested. Right now all I can do is try to keep my positive attitude and ask you all to pray for me while I wait and find out what the verdict is.
I want to say that I appreciate you all as my friends and hope that this doesn't change your feelings about me. I have tried to be courageous and keep a positive attitude and my faith has been my strength through all this. But please don't think differently about me just because I'm ill. You'd really never know it to look at me, but I have been through the ringer with this and it looks like I may have to go through it again. Reading my friends' blogs keeps me laughing and laughter really is the best medicine.

That's all for tonight. Enjoy your evening! :-)

Just Say No...To Toys

2008-04-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

I had a lot of fun at the recent Crimson Moon party, but during the course of the festivities a serious issue arose. How do you politely tell someone you don't want a certain toy used on you? At parties, I don't like to have too much wood used on me because wood isn't nearly as forgiving as leather. Wood can flat-out toast you in no time at all. Well, when I was busy waving my hand in the air agreeing to this game of Musical Chairs, I knew all the toys we would get spanked with were wood. I had no problem with that, because as the "winner" I only got two with everything. But when I was playing with another gentleman and I explained to him that I don't do wood at parties, he immediately came back with, "You took 15 strokes with that cane." How do you explain to someone (again politely) that you like the cane...wood paddles are just ok and then only in small doses? Plus by the time I'd taken 15 cane strokes my bottom was pretty well bruised and not in any shape for anything more than hand spanking. I thought this Top was kind of selfish. When a bottom declares a certain toy or a certain whole category of toys (like wood) off limits, that should be the end of it, don't you think? I couldn't believe this guy sounded a bit miffed when I told him, "Sorry, no wood." He agreed, of course, but I heard the disappointment in his voice. What's the big deal? Why should it matter what I want used and what I don't want used? It's my bottom, I get first and last say about what gets used on it. And, as I often explain to Tops, I only have one bottom and it has to last me the weekend. Do you think I have a spare hanging in the closet? Let me just slap that baby on and party on. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. I believe most Tops are courteous when it comes to saving some bottom for others and realizing that we still want to play after we play with them. But I have met Tops who didn't care which night of the party it was or who else I wanted to play with. Those are the Tops I call selfish.
But back to my original question: how do you let someone know, politely but emphatically, that they will not be using that toy or whatever on you? I have found that with some of them you have to throw polite, courteous and ladylike out the window. They will try to slip that toy in behind your back and then claim they didnt use it. Or they will try to just go against your wishes and use that wood anyway. Or if you say, "I am only up for hand spanking right now" and they try to talk you into "just a few with this strap" or "just a couple taps with this paddle". What do you say then? Well, since I have been known to be a bit of a big mouth, I have no problem asking, "What part of 'no wood' are you having a hard time understanding?" At the newbie orientation (which everyone attending their first Crimson Moon party must attend, even if they have been going to other's parties and spanking for years) I'm sure this issue is addressed when discussing "NO means NO". Are some people just not listening? Or do they listen but they figure the rules don't count for them? Or do they just not care? Like I often tell these guys, "Don't get into the habit of being someone who doesn't listen or seems like they don't care. We girls talk at parties and if word gets around that you aren't safe, your chances to play will very quickly dry up." And believe me, I talk at parties...and talk, and talk, and talk. It might sound like a small issue to some people and they might think "a few taps with that paddle can't hurt". But think about it. If you said "no" to something and then someone was able to sweet talk you into it anyway, what's next? Bottoms have to say "no" and then mean it. The rule says "No means no", not "no means no unless you can talk them into it". I want to make it clear right here that this particular Top gave me no problems when I said "no" to his offer of wood paddles. But I distinctly heard disappointment or maybe even anger in his voice. Of course, the Top should get enjoyment out of a session. But it's my bottom being spanked and if I don't want wood paddles used on it, that is that. And I shouldn't have to give him a college term paper length explanation about it, either.
Maybe there is something about me that brings out the "competitor" in some Tops. But that is their problem. The same as it's their problem when they tell me "you shouldn't wear those type of panties...I don't like them" or "you should wear a skirt instead of those jeans". Get over it! And get over yourself while you're at it. I don't dress for you...I dress for me. No one tells me how to dress or what to wear. Most of the people who spank me are quite happy to play with me, no matter what kind of panties I'm wearing or whether I'm wearing a dress or a pair of jeans.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you're a bottom and you don't want a certain toy used on you, you do have the right to speak up an say "NO!" And if you're a Top who gets told "no" to a certain toy, that is the end of the discussion as far as I'm concerned.
I guess I probably blew that little scenario way, way out of proportion. But it does happen enough times that I wanted to vent about it.

Thanks and have a great evening!

It's My Party

2008-03-31T18:48:00.000-07:00

Hello, All---
As promised here is a long, boring ramble about my adventures this past weekend in Chicago.
First of all, getting ready went down to the wire this time. I had to work very, very late Thursday night and I had a lot to get done before I left the next morning. I had to pack and clean my apartment and attend to some personal errands the next morning, so it really was a chase to the eleventh hour. Luckily, I had made arrangements for the care of my two "babies", my cats Cricket and Lolita and I didn't have to worry about that.
The drive was absolutely beautiful; the weather was sunny if cold. We got there early before we hit the Friday Chicago traffic. In fact, we got to the hotel so early that there was time for a nice nap before going down to the party room to see who was available to play. I roomed with three other girls this time. Can you imagine four brats sharing the same room? That room saw a lot of spanking action, let me tell you. If the walls could only talk!
After my nap, I got showered and changed and went downstairs to see who might be up for some playtime. To my surprise, everyone was just sitting around and talking; catching up with each other. It had been about five months since most of us had seen each other and we wanted to know what was going on with them.
This party was smaller than I thought it would be but that turned out to be ok. I didn't play that much the first night but I went for quality over quantity anyway. The three or four times I played were all first rate spanking sessions.
The first person I played with was new to Crimson Moon and this was his first party. He was not, however, new to spanking as he proved to me. He was a wonderful Top, who insisted on knowing my safeword and who actually wanted to sit down and talk to me first. I would have insisted on it if he hadn't. What a nice spanking that was. :-)
I played with a couple of new people at this party and I really enjoyed it. Playing with new people can be risky...either you're on the same page or you aren't. Sometimes it takes a while to get on the same page and sometimes you never really do. Luckily I was on the same page as everyone I played with. Of course, there were people I wanted to play with and it just didn't happen. This happens at most parties for me. For me the real fun took place on Saturday night. Starting with a great breakfast at a really nice restaurant. I try to preserve my bottom the first night of a party; I try to take very good care of it. That's because on Saturday I am out to play for real. I went out of my way to find the good strappers and caners. We also had some "Fun and Games" on Saturday night. First, we played musical chairs. There were six of us and five chairs, of course. I "won" but I didn't feel too much like a winner when I was told what I "won." There were five different paddles on the table; from a little thin one to a huge sorority paddle. I "won" two swats with each paddle and then five with a hairbrush. I told the girl I beat out that I would let her "win" next time. Actually, I won a very nice prize not just the swats. After that, we played a dice game. You rolled one to determine the number of swats you got (from 5 to 30) and the other one you rolled to determine the implement you would get your swats with: cane, hairbrush, paddle, strap, hand, etc. The first time I rolled the dice it came up 30 with the hairbrush. The guy who was Master of Ceremonies let me roll "2 outta 3" because he knew I hated hairbrushes. It came up hairbrush every time, so I just decided to take my 30 with the hairbrush. Luckily, we could choose our own Top. I chose one who I knew would not go crazy with the hairbrush. He told me, "You'll get 30 medium ones." What I ended up getting was 30 extremely light ones. I got over his knee and he started with the hairbrush. Of course, the party goers who were watching were trying to make him lose count by miscounting the swats, but luckily he kept track. Almost every female bottom (and one male one) came up and rolled the dice. I went up twice because I felt lucky. Having two days to look back on it, I can ask myself this one question: Cigi, are you absolutely crazy? I arrogantly rolled the dice and ended up with 15. Again, I ended up with the hairbrush. But the MC told me, "You can pick your own implement." I chose the cane. And I let the MC deliver the cane strokes. I took the 15 strokes on the seat of my underwear. The strokes were hard, just how I like it. It was one of the really good things I found out at this party: that my tolerance wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I took a very hard caning and some unbelievably hard strapping. My tolerance was just fine. But after that caning, I was almost done for the night. But there were a few people I just had to play with; sore bottom or not. My pal Doc Ken was one of them. I got a very nice spanking from him in my room. I hope he doesn't mind that I mentioned him by name, but he gave me one of the nicest spankings of the weekend. And, of course, we had nice conversation, too. This party was so much fun in so many ways. Even though the Top I was looking forward to playing with didn't show up, I still had a great time. This was a smaller party but there were still plenty of people to play with. At bigger parties, you really don't have time to play with everyone. But at smaller parties, you can really take the time and play with everyone you want to. I even took the time for a shopping expedition, which is a first. Usually I don't want to "waste" good party time shopping, but at this party I knew I'd get to everyone eventually. There was just one person I didn't get to play with that I really wanted to and they know I'll get to them at the next party. When my sister Cheryl and I decided it was time to call it a party, we headed back to our room. Now, I didn't hear any spanking sounds and the "Do Not Disturb" sign wasn't in place, but when we walked in the door there was our other roommate getting a spanking from a man I had wanted to play with for the last three parties but never had the courage to ask. But we watched him spank our roommate and were just mesmerized. He had the most wonderful hands for spanking and he was actually a very nice guy. Perhaps that didn't come across at other parties, but he was very happy to sit down and talk to us and answer our questions about his spanking experience. Then, my "shy" sister spoke up and said, "Can I have some of that next?" He smiled, blushed and told her he would be "honored". My friend was barely off his lap before Cheryl happily took her place over his knee. Little did he know, he would have two more bottoms to spank before he left our room. I had to totally change my opinion of this guy. I had asked him to play at a party last year and he told me he was getting ready to play with someone else. I took this to mean "Buzz off and leave me alone" even though he had been polite when he turned me down. But Saturday night, he was sort of captive in my hotel room. Now I would have accepted it gracefully if he had said "no" this time, but I would have been disappointed to be turned down after seeing his wonderful spanking technique. But he was very happy with our attention and he spanked us enthusiastically. He had a big shit-eating grin on his face the whole time, I noticed. It was such a nice way to end a party. I went to sleep that night (on my stomach of course) and slept like a baby. I hate saying goodbye to people after a party, so it was a good thing we left pretty early on Sunday morning. We were on the road by 8:00. Almost all the people on our floor were CM people and I didn't hear anyone else stirring but us. Luckily, I said my "goodbyes" the night before. My only real complaint is that (once again) they put me in a room by the elevator and I had to hear "ding ding" every five seconds while I was trying to sleep. Once I got to sleep, it didn't bother me. But it could be annoying before that. The hotel where our party was at was very comfortable. The beds were so warm and comfy; you couldn't help but drift right off to sleep. The rooms that had sofas were really great. I'm glad ours had one. They are just perfect for spanking. You can really stretch out across your spanker's knee and concentrate on the spanking instead of what an uncomfortable position you are in. The beds were comfy but they seemed tall. I'm not a short person and I have pretty long legs, but I had to "climb" up onto the beds to lay across them for strapping and caning. It was a minor inconvenience at the most. To my surprise (and somewhat to my disappointment) I didn't really brat that much at this party. I thought I would have plenty of opportunity, but many of the male Tops there just didn't get into the bratting so I had to respect that. I was content to just ask if someone wanted to play. It was still fun. I got off a few smart ass comments, but I paid for them. The food was good at this party and they offered plenty of chocolate for those of us who consider it a food group. All in all, another great Crimson Moon effort. I love the hotel and I think they like us, too. We are a discreet group and we are well-behaved and courteous of other guests.
The drive home was interesting. My bottom smarted every time we hit a bump or a pothole, which Illinois is known for. And, of course, the orange construction cone is our state flower. lol
I took some great pictures at this party. To respect the privacy of others at the parties, I don't post party pictures anywhere on the Internet. The pictures are solely for my own enjoyment. I think some people forget at parties that you don't just take out your camera and start snapping away. In most groups, you have to get the permission of everyone who might be in the picture before you take a picture. I assure you I had the permission of everyone I took a picture of before I took them. I just have to organize them and I have a lot of them.
I know some of this may not make sense or seems disjointed but I just am writing this off the top of my head and haven't really taken the time to organize my thoughts. I am still too floaty and happy from the weekend to care. :-)
Now real life beckons...and I must go.

Have a nice evening everyone and maybe I'll post a little more about this party at a later date. For now, that's all.

Home Safe and Sound

2008-03-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note tonight to let you all know I arrived safe and sound (but with a very tender bottom) from the Crimson Moon party in Chicago. I will write a very long and rambling entry about my adventures at this party. I will try to get that done tomorrow after work.

Had a great time and I promise a complete description of my party fun!
Have a great evening everyone!

My Rapidly Fading Tolerance

2008-03-09T18:42:00.001-07:00

I have a spanking party to go to in about three weeks. Now, I am excited to be going and I can't wait to play with everyone. But there is going to be a Top there who I haven't seen (much less played with) in about four years attending. I can't wait to see him but I am afraid it will not take him long to learn my secret: I don't have the tolerance I used to have. When I first started getting spanked, I had what was called a "cast iron bottom". I could take a spanking with the best of them. In fact, a small part of me is proud that people were so awed by the amount and severity of spanking I could take. I was very proud to be one of the hardest players in the group.

Sadly, my tolerance has faded to the point that I am boringly average to play with. A swat with a wood paddle that used to be met with bored indifference now elicits an "owww!" Even if someone spanks me hard with their hand, I whimper like a "Powderpuff Girl" (as light players are sometimes called in a certain group I belong to). I know this isn't nor should it be a contest about who can take the hardest spanking. And I have never received a prize for taking the hardest spanking; unless you count the collection of broken toys I have acquired over the years. But this fading tolerance has hurt my pride and I suppose there are probably several reasons for it: 1) I ain't as young as I used to be. Having turned 47 in December, I'm no longer a spring chicken and 2) I don't play like I used to. As I mentioned in another post, I used to play every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend. I suppose if I got back into the habit of playing more often, my tolerance could return.

But there have been some nice benefits to losing a bit of tolerance. For one thing, the lighter spankings feel nice. I never thought I would like a lighter spanking. I usually just arrive at a party and head straight for the bruisers. Tops who spank lighter tend to play with you longer. Tops who spank hard sometimes forget about the warm up and, consequently, the spanking is over pretty quickly. If toys are used, the harder spanker can leave marks, abraded skin and pain that makes it necessary to sleep on my stomach. Trying to sit is an adventure for several days afterwards. But I was an avowed Pain Slut and still consider myself one. Whatever happened to the girl who could take 116 strokes with a heavy strap delivered with a full arm swing by an over 6' Top? Whatever happened to the girl who only used her safeword when she had to pee? (Now I just say 'let me up...I gotta pee"). Whatever happened to the girl who considered a nice caning to be 50 strokes? Is she still there somewhere just needing to be coaxed back out? Do I just need to get in training for this spanking party?
I always thought I was popular at parties because I had a cute bottom that happened to be made of cast iron. Now I suppose one person's light spanking is another person's hard spanking and vice versa.

And some Tops, I'm sure, will tell me that I haven't changed at all. But this one Top who is coming to the party remembers me as the girl with the bottom that could and did break toys. I'm concerned he'll think I'm not as much fun to play with if I can't play as hard. I'm not saying my friend would be that shallow. In fact, I'm sure he'll just be glad to see me and will give me any kind of spanking I want. But I'm worried that in the back of his mind he'll be thinking about how much I've changed.

A rock poet once sang "The times they are a-changing"...and for me they certainly are. Trouble is, how much are they changing? Is this change permanent? Or temporary? Is this just another chapter in my continuing journey in the spanking scene? I don't know. The only thing I know with any certainty is that I still enjoy spanking and that will never change.

That's all for now.. Have fun!

The Art Of Bratting

2008-03-07T18:08:00.000-08:00

If you have ever been to a spanking party, you will notice some bratting going on. I have been called a brat (and a good one!) many times but I have never really put my thinking cap on and thought about what the term "brat" meant to me. When I was ten, if you had called me a brat I would have denied it even though the term definitely fit me then. Notice I didn't say I was a spoiled brat, just a brat.
The bratting that goes on at parties can take several shapes. It can be very subtle or downright obvious. It can be (and often is) quite charming. But it can also be irritating, not just to the person on the receiving end of the brat's attention but to everyone around them. Bratting can be verbal (as in simple smart alecky remarks) or physical (such as tying a Top's shoelaces together or hitting him with a rubber band or putting ice down his back...my favorite!) Every bottom and Top has to decide for themselves what constitutes bratting. If you want to take this route to a spanking, you have to decide what kind of brat you are. I am not at all subtle, but my bratting is usually the non-threatening variety. I would never do anything that might result in injury for the Top. And I certainly would be horrified if I were ever taken aside and told to tone my bratting down, which I have heard has happened to others.
There are Tops who don't like bratting. When I come across this type of Top, I respect their wishes as I would expect them to respect mine.
I liken this behavior to a dance between bottom and Top. If I've done my job right, I will end up over the knee of the Top. Because I brat mostly in public, the spankings I get for it tend to be public. Other brats and Tops who witness the spanking usually offer "encouragement".
At one party, I was getting a spanking from a certain Top. Both participants were having a good time. But another brat who witnessed this, got a twinkle in her eyes and said "Cigi, will you please stop yawning?"
The Top asked her, "Has she been yawning?"
She replied, "Yeah, she's yawned about five times since you started spanking her."
Of course, what I got was a little harder spanking and the addition of toys. I adored the brat but I spent the rest of the party trying to find a way to get her back. I did, too. While I would never rat out another brat or blame another brat for something I did, I have no problem "helping" another brat get a spanking. Isn't that what friends are for?
Sometimes you have to avoid what I call the "wet blankets" who sometimes attend parties, the ones who detest bratting and think all forms of bratting should be banned from spanking parties. These are the Tops (well, mostly Doms) who think we should all act like we are at High Tea or something. Out of respect, I don't brat these gentlemen in fact, I try to completely avoid them. To them, I am just wrong and so is my behavior.
I once had a particularly Domly Dom tell me, "I can't understand why someone doesn't take you brats in hand. If I had my way you would all be sitting quietly with your hands folded in your laps waiting for one of us to summon you." Ummmm, pardon me but....YAWWWWWNNNNNN! Can you think of anything so boring? What the guy was trying to say, of course, is that he considered us all to be submissive and he didn't appreciate our behavior.
"I leave these parties every time with a pounding headache", he complained.
"Well, then why do you come to these parties?" I asked. I thought it was a reasonable question. He didn't give me an answer. Spanking parties are loud, boisterous and fun events. What was this party pooper doing there anyway?
I'm not saying if you don't like bratting you shouldn't come to parties, but I will say if you expect all the ladies to behave the same you will be disappointed. You will likely see all types of behavior, and yes, some of it bratty. If you see me at a party, it will definitely be bratty. :-)
Bratting is an art, like anything else. It takes practice and you have to have someone around willing to let you practice on them. Luckily, I have a lot of Tops around who don't mind my bratting. And, yes, I've gone too far and I've learned things the hard way. But I've found out that I love the atmosphere of spanking parties and bratting is not the only thing going on. A lot of the behavior is flirty and fun, not what I would call bratting at all.
If you find you don't fit the brat mold, that's ok. You will still have a good time at parties. Brats aren't the only ones who get themselves spanked. Ladies who don't want to brat can simply ask for a spanking. To me, that's not as much fun but to each their own.
There is a party coming up in Chicago at the end of the month and, having realized that at the last few parties I haven't bratted as much as usual, I plan to do some catching up. I even bet there are a few other brats and Tops who are willing to help me out. :-)
Have a fun evening!

Hitting A Dry Spell

2008-02-23T19:36:00.000-08:00

I have just realized that I have a hit a dry spell spanking-wise. I haven't gotten spanked since November. Isn't that pathetic for a spanko? I remember a time when I played every weekend and if I went longer than about two or three weeks without a spanking I climbed the walls.
I suppose maybe it has something to do with getting older or starting to prefer quality or quantity. But going three months without a spanking is just unheard of for me. I have to face it that it's getting harder and harder for me to meet people I really click with on that all-important spanking level.
I doubt it would unravel the space/time continuum if I had to go longer than this without a spanking, but I mean...I'm a spanko...getting spanked
is what I do and I used to be good at it.
But I have to face it that maybe this dry spell isn't all my fault. The men I have chatted with lately have mostly been of the lame variety. I mean, I realize that we are a less polite society as a whole but don't any of these guys know what manners are??
I had one guy leave me an offline message that he wanted to chat. So, being the polite woman I am, I left him a message to look me up anytime. His reply to me was "For sex???" See what I mean? His lame excuse was that he thought I was a "Bot" (not a real person evidently) and I was trying to sell him online porn. He said that's how they snag you. Well, excuse me but does a "bot" usually have a profile complete with a picture? I dumped him in what I call the "Permanent Asshole File", you get my drift.
Another person I chatted with told me that "bottoms aren't entitled to courtesy". He joined my other friend in the PAF. Another guy I had been chatting with told me "Maybe we can get together this Saturday...I'll let you know Friday if I can make it." What am I? Last minute plans? I'm sorry, but do the rest of you feel that is totally inconsiderate? Or am I being a bit overly sensative?
So is it any wonder I've hit a slump? Well, I'll take my cue from professional athletes. You know how they are. They slump for a few weeks then come back batting over .500. Those of us who aren't in a relationship and don't have a 24/7 spanking partner just go through these spells at times. This is my longest dry spell in five years. I usually have two or three people I play with on a regular basis. Due to life being what it is, I've had to find new people to play with. And I haven't been having much luck. It doesn't help that 90% of the men who look me up are young guys who want me to spank them. When I tell them I don't spank, that I'm just a bottom, I get nothing more from them. One guy was in Rhode Island and he thought I could just fly there on my private jet or something and play with him. He even left me his phone number...and I am a complete stranger. Well, it's nice to know there's someone out there more desperate than I am.
Even more than the spanking, I miss just talking to people who are like me. It's like everyone has gone into hibernation or something. The last guy who spanked me is someone I hadn't seen or heard from in about 4 1/2 years. He just looked me up out of the blue. He told me he had gone back to his wife but that she was "understanding about this". Really? Then how come you haven't even written to ask how I'm doing? Maybe the wifey poo isn't as understanding as you would have me believe. I mean, even though I have a strict no sex rule, most vanilla wives find it hard to believe a guy can spank another woman and it doesn't lead to sex. Honey, all it led to was dinner and I paid for my own. Nothing even remotely sexual happened. But I think that is going to be the end of getting together with this gentleman, which is a shame because he's a good spanker.
So I just have to do like REO Speedwagon said and "ride the storm out". Sooner or later I know I'll hit the jackpot again...in the meantime, my bottom is really, really white and really, really cold. It's February after all!
Have a good one and spank on!

What Would You Do?

2008-02-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

In this world where information is readily available, do you ever find yourself worried that the Internet is not as anonymous as it used to be? And what would you do if someone in your family accidentally or on purpose gained access to your private spanking pictures, stories, blogs etc or otherwise found out your "dirty little secret"?
When I first got active in the scene I had vanilla family living with me and I was mortified at the mere thought that someone might find out that I was into spanking. It got so that I was downright paranoid about it. I made sure my computer and all my files were password protected. Absolutely no one but me had my passwords. When I would leave for the weekend for a spanking party, I took the power cord to my computer just in case my brother (who is someone of a computer geek) somehow guessed my passwords and gained access to my "other world".
Well, after a few years, I let my guard down a bit and the inevitable happened. My vanilla roommate, searching for a popular job search site in my city, found the local spanking group I belonged to along with the site she was looking for. And, of course, right there on the welcome page is a big picture of yours truly (taken a few years ago) bent over with her bare bottom freshly spanked. I was surprised at my reaction. A few short years ago, I would have been absolutely mortified at this. But when it actually happened I found I was more angry that my roommate had used my computer without my permission. To my surprise, I found myself calmly explaining what she came to call my "hobby" and how I met people and played with them; both at parties and privately. To my surprise, she seemed cool with this and even expressed curiosity to the point of wanting to view one of my spanking DVD's. I don't think she has ever told anyone what she found on my computer.
So the question is: how would you handle this situation? I suppose for most people, like me, it depends on who finds out. For me, it was my roommate; a younger woman who was not totally turned off by the idea. If it had been a member of my family, I suppose I would just have to say,"This is my personal, private business. It doesn't concern you and I have no desire to discuss it with you. I'm still your sister just like I was before you found this out. I haven't changed."
My parents have both passed away and I'm not sure what they would have thought. I am not so sure my father and mother didn't participate in the same "hobby" I do; one that another sister, a nephew and a niece of mine also share. I wonder how my vanilla brother would take it if he found out his daughter owned a book like "Beauty's Punishment"? That is how I found out my then 19-year old niece was at least interested. That book is a particularly well-written bit of spanking erotica and she just left it laying around for anyone to find, like it was a Stephen King novel or something.
I have never really discussed this with her because I don't know if she ever got passed the curious stage or if this is something she also has in her life. I choose, at this time, to respect her privacy. Of course, I guarded my secret with my life. I didn't leave my copy of "The Compleat Spanker" laying around like it was a coffee table book.
Some people simply don't care who finds out about their private life. Others, like me, are guarded about who they confide in. Still others would die if anyone ever found out. They feel like no one would understand them or that they would somehow no longer be the person they were in the eyes of those who knew.
I am at the point where I don't shout it from the roof tops but I am not embarrassed or ashamed of it either. If my co-worker can have a miniature paddle hanging from his rear view mirror that says "Bad Girl" on it, I can have my key ring that says "Spank me" on it. Hey, to me that's a great combination! :)

Reputation

2008-02-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone!
I have been thinking about my reputation in the scene for a while now. I like to think I have a good one; that people think I'm fun to play with. I am always honest with the people I play with, whether it be at parties or privately at my home. I think honesty and respect are the two most important factors in assessing someone's scene reputation. Has this person been honest with you? And has he/she treated you with respect? Or have they lied to you and treated you like you were an idiot?
What kind of reputation would you like to have? In my opinion, the Tops with the best reputations are the ones who are gentlemen and fun to play with. Bottoms can have good or bad reputations, too.
I have met people who have gaurded their hard-won reputation like nothing else mattered. I have met people who had a good reputation for being safe and sane only because bottoms were too intimidated to report them, me included. And I have met people who didn't seem to care about their reputation or what people thought of them at all. This is the most curious situation to me. I can see being outspoken (like I would have the right to talk! lol) and saying "damn the consequences". But I can't imagine being a jerk or a bully with spankees and being unconcerned about being kicked out of groups or not having anyone to play with.
Speaking only for myself, I start to form my opinion of someone the minute we make first contact. Most times that is in the form of an online chat. If the opening IM is respectful and polite such as "Hi..I saw your Yahoo profile and thought I'd say hello", then the chances are I would be very interested in chatting. If that first sentence is something debasing, demeaning, offensive or profane, guess what? I probably won't want to chat with you, not then and probably never. You never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
So you have to determine what kind of reputation you'd like to have. If you want people to like you and want to play with you, you should probably treat them like you'd want to be treated. I know...I say this all the time. But I don't think you can say it too many times.
My grandmother used to tell me, "A person's good name is more precious than gold." I think she was paraphrasing one of the Proverbs but I couldn't agree with her more. So why would someone want to risk their "good name" (provided they had one to start with) in the scene by being unsafe or doing something dangerous or nonconsensual? I think the best advice anyone can give a newbie in the scene is: always behave in a manner that gains respect; starting with that first contact.
I have worked on my "good name" and reputation for five years now. I sure hope if I didn't have a good reputation, someone would take me aside and tell me. I'd sure want to know if my reputation wasn't what I thought it was. My feelings might be hurt, but I could at least start to repair the damage I've done.
I think that's easier for bottoms than it is for Tops, some of whom think they have to have that reputation as a no nonsense type. They feel if they aren't tough the bottoms won't respect them. Well, that might be true of some bottoms but it's not true of me. Anyone who knows me longer than a party or two knows I am all about having fun; light-hearted spanking play is my favorite. And I repsect the gentle, fun loving type more than the Dom who insists on his right to punish me if I "disobey" him. And I abhor the Top who can never be wrong. We all make mistakes and we can all be wrong at times.
Remember your reputation. Nothing in the scene, to me, is more important than that. Work on it, feed it, gaurd it with your life and defend it if it's questioned...if it's questioned frequently, you need to work on it some more.
Well that's my piece for tonight...everyone have a great night!

Movie Spanking Scenes

2008-02-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

I was just watching one of my "Cinema Swats" DVD's and wanted to comment on some of the spankings they contained. Everyone knows that spankings in mainstream movies are, pardon the pun, hit or miss. As I watched, I couldn't figure out why some of them were so popular with spanking fans.
Case in point: "Kiss Me Kate". I'm talking about the Howard Keel/Kathryn Grayson movie version. I have never seen such a big guy give such a soft spanking in my life. Now, in fairness, I am a big fan of what I call "the build up" to the spanking and this one was very good. But as far I am concerned, it's a big build up to nothing. How did this scene become a classic? It is poorly done. How did Grayson even feel those soft little slaps through that velvet dress of hers?
I have also seen spankings that were horribly botched. How can you call it a spanking if the person doing the spanking only finds the bottom once or twice during the entire "spanking"? This happened mostly in foreign films done in the 60's or 70's. Wasn't there anyone around to show someone how to give a realistic spanking?
But some of them were really, really well done. I think "Bunker Bean" is one of my favorites. The build up was first rate and the spanking was very realistic, almost too realistic. The girl (and I'm sorry her name escapes me) told him, "You're nothing but a miserable little clerk!" Well, ladies and gentlemen, that "miserable little clerk" sent her out of the room crying and rubbing her bottom. Sure, maybe it wasn't his place to spank her, but someone needed to do it.
Another movie I like with a great spanking is "The Taming Of Trudy Bell". I believe this movie is from 1968. Things were done differently in those days, I guess. The only person of note in the film is, of course, the guy doing the spanking. Someone has said it was the same guy who played "Billy Jack" a few years later. It looks like him, but I can't be sure because I've never seen the movie except for the spanking. It is well done and the "heroine" of the story certainly had it coming.
Where movie spankings are concerned, "Blue Hawaii" is the exemplar. Elvis probably gained a lot of fans with this scene. I have always heard he argued to have the scene left out, but the girl insisted on it. My kind of girl if this is true! Anyway, if Elvis had had his way and the scene was left out, spankingdom would have missed out on a very well done spanking scene. Is it just me or does it look like Elvis has had a girl or two over his knee before this?
I am really sorry that, in these politically correct times, we can't have spankings in movies anymore unless it's for comic value or sexual titillation. There are certainly actors in this day and age I wouldn't mind seeing spank a woman. Can you say Russell Crowe? lol
As it is, these are what we are left with. "McClintock!" offers us not one but two memorable spanking scenes. I prefer the one with the young people, John Wayne's son, Patrick and Stephanie Powers in it. Everyone knows Stephanie had a thing for this. Seems she was spanked in almost everything she did. Anyone ever see her in that episode of "Lancer" that she did in the early 70's? That one melts my heart, too.
So some of the movie and TV spankings are very well known (those I Love Lucy episodes) and some are obscure, such as those foreign films that you really have to search to find. I don't count adult films, since you can find spanking in many adult films. I am talking about those mainstream movies or TV shows.
To show you how spanking drew the crowds, here is a little story. Evidently, it used to be very popular to put out an advertisement for a movie showing a woman being spanked. You would be lured to the theater and guess what? No spanking. In those early days, everyone knew spanking sold tickets.
Another area of television where you can see a spanking every now and then is professional wrestling. In the 80's and 90's it was pretty common to see a huge professional wrestler turn some diva over his knee. Now men don't do that as much because they don't want to get the reputation of a "woman beater". Mostly the spanking action now is girl on girl and that's ok if you are a college guy just watching for laughs. Some of those older "wrestling spankings" are quite well known. Some of them have never been seen "unedited", like the infamous Billy Joe Travis/Toni Adams spanking that occured in Texas in 1989. I have never seen a version of this that wasn't pixilated or edited in some way. I think an unedited version must exist somewhere and I would love to see it if it were ever found. Many of the spankings in wrestling occured before it was all scripted and choreographed, before it became more about entertainment than sport.
I would love to hear your comments regarding what you think is the best or worst spanking you have ever seen or someone you would like to see spank someone (my pick would be the previously mentioned Mr. Crowe), etc. This is an interesting subject to me and I am sure it is interesting to more than a few of you.

Have a great evening everyone!

Scene Party Etiquette

2008-01-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
Having just sent my party fee in for the March Crimson Moon party, I think it's a good day to post my feelings about rules and etiquette. Yes, there are rules and yes, there is a certain way to behave at parties.

I think some people come to their first party with very high expectations or just horrible preconceived notions about how the women act and how the men treat them. I've seen people post to groups who say they either didn't have a good time at a party or they didn't play with anyone. I have always been of the opinion that one makes one's own good time. If you have a lousy time at a party, there is usually enough blame to go around.
I have always told newbies that they could email me privately and I will try to answer their questions regarding how to behave, what to wear, etc. Some of the questions have been eye-opening to say the least. One gentleman was surprised when I explained to him, "If you ask someone to play and they say 'no', just accept it gracefully. She might change her mind later if you aren't pushy."
He replied, "Bottoms can say no? I thought they had to play with whoever asked them." I have gotten that response more than I care to. Needless to say, I explained that bottoms at parties can turn down a request to play whenever they like. Can you imagine the shape our bottoms would be in if we had to say "yes" to everyone's offer to play? I doubt I would even go to a party where I was told I had to play with everyone who asked me. I mean, what if their style wasn't the same as mine? What if they turned out to be dangerous?
So, that's the number one rule: no means no, whether it means saying "no" to an offer to play or whether it's to a certain act or toy after a bottom has agreed to play. No means no. It's the thing that gets me up on my soapbox like nothing else.
Secondly, be polite. Don't act like you're in a frat house or a titty bar or treat the women at the party like we're strippers. We aren't. Most of us are ladies who respond to being treated that way.
Make a conscious effort to look your best. I'm not talking about the most expensive clothes or anything. I'm talking about taking time with your appearance, taking the time to look like you care what you look like. Don't dress like a slob and then wonder why most of the people you asked to play with you declined your offer. This is true of both men and women, tops and bottoms. Most people will not play with someone who smells or who's clothes are dirty or who looks like they are wearing the same clothes they slept in. People pay money to attend the parties and the owners go out of their way to give us a nice place to play.
I suppose another thing I would say is don't interrupt when people are playing. No, this isn't like a dungeon where there are monitors and people who's job it is make sure everyone's on their best behavior. Usually when you attend a spanking party, you are put on your honor. Assume if you wouldn't like someone to interject themselves into your scene, they probably wouldn't like it if you did the same to them. The people playing consented to play. Even if it is in public, in full view of everyone, keep your hands (and everything else) to yourself unless you are asked by all participants to join in. Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
By all means, join in conversations and get to know people but don't make a nuisance of yourself and don't act like an expert if you aren't. You can learn a lot more by listening to others. Spanking people are some of the nicest, most accepting people I have ever met and, usually, new people are welcomed with open arms. But there are things you absolutely don't ever do at a party. You don't lie about your experience. If you have never spanked anyone before, say so. No one will laugh at you or make fun of you. Many of the bottoms I know like being someone's first ever spankee. Likewise, if you're never been spanked before, for safety's sake, please make that known. It is very dangerous to lie about your experience or lack of it. And anyway, lack of experience quickly shows and the person you're playing with will resent that you weren't truthful. A Top who's never spanked anyone before needs to be trained and taught proper spanking technique and safe spanking practices. I am a bottom who delights in helping tops learn the safest, most fun way to spank. I have said in several other posts that I value honesty above anything else, in the scene or anywhere else.
Next I would say don't assume. By that, I mean don't assume anything. Don't assume the lady you are going off to play with will do whatever you want just because she agreed to play. Always negotiate with someone, even if you've played with them before. People change and what they found enjoyable at the last party (or even the last time you played) they may not like this time.
And this is most important: do not assume you are going to get lucky or that anything sexual is going to happen. To me, the worst behavior at a party is when anyone (man or woman, top or bottom) meets someone, agrees to play with them and makes sexual demands on them after they were told no one would push them into anything. This is piggish behavior of the rudest order and, in most reputable groups, it's cause for expulsion. If you want sex, bring someone with you for the purpose. Don't expect some stranger at a spanking party to serve your sexual needs. I'm not saying things don't happen in the heat of the moment, but negotiate anything sexual ahead of time. And, certainly, when you are playing with someone for the first time, don't attempt anything sexual. This has happened to me and it's bewildering and makes me very angry.
If you do happen to do something that the bottom construes as a violation of club rules, by all means, own up to it, apologize for it and then NEVER do it again.
When you are cleared by club owners to attend a party, they have put their trust in you that you will behave and follow club rules. I would say 99 times out of 100 everyone has a good time and enjoys a relaxing and fun weekend when going to a spanking party. It takes one person who thinks they are above the rules; one person who thinks the rules don't apply to them; one person who thinks they know more than anyone else to ruin it for everyone.
I'll post more on this subject later because this one ran a little long. Thanks everyone for letting me ramble. I sure hope I didn't sound too negative! LOL

Have a great day everyone!

Lighten Up

2008-01-19T08:28:00.000-08:00

I had a nice chat with a gentleman the other night that I thought I'd mention here. This particular gentleman had read my Yahoo profile and had read some of this blog and he was curious about exactly what I meant when I said I play "just for fun".

Oy...you know sometimes I can't understand why people read so much into one little phrase. We aren't discussing the theory of relativity or trying to decipher what a poet means by his words. I mean how difficult can it be to understand the three little words "just for fun"? Why is the concept that someone might play just for the fun of it so hard for some people to grasp?

He was very polite to me (after I put him in his place for asking me questions I regarded as too personal and inappropriate) but like some other people he thought only in terms of discipline or sex when it came to spanking. I am very happy to say that he came away from our chat with a better understanding and appreciation for the "just for fun" spanking.
He still can't understand how a woman who's favorite toy is the cane thinks this is "fun" but to each his own I suppose. I told him the best advice I could give him (or anyone for that matter) would be to lighten up his attitude regarding spanking. It's not always serious and it's not always a learning experience and it's not always about who's in charge...although those things have their place for some people and that's fine.
You can absolutely have a good time without those things. And there's a place for them. I guess what I'm trying to say (and this is the new more positive me talking here) is that I finally got a Dom to understand my point of view. He wasn't just paying it lip service. He wasn't patronizing or condescending. He really understood. I breathed a sigh of relief. Although the thought of just playing for fun, so both people get equal enjoyment, was something he was curious to try. So maybe I'll be lucky enough to help this gentleman see just what "just for fun" really means.
At first, he thought "just for fun" was my cute little euphemism for "just for sex". It was challenging to help him change his attitude from "this is about me" to "this is about both of us". I got a very nice email from this gentleman this morning in which he thanked me for "teaching him a good
lesson".
I am convinced of his sincerity but I know he is still a Dom who has to be in charge and that's fine with me. But he also sees this from another point of view; one he hadn't necessarily thought of before. And isn't that a learning experience?

Have a great day everyone!

Happy New Year's Resolutions

2007-12-27T10:22:00.000-08:00

I can't believe another year has gone by. Where does the time go? I guess it's like my father always told me, it's a sign of age when the years start going by fast.

I had been going through my posts on this blog and one thing struck me above all others: I can't believe how negative some of my posts sound. The people who read this must wonder why I am in the scene at all since it seems like I get no enjoyment out of spanking. This isn't true in the least but I couldn't blame anyone for feeling that way. So one of my New Year's resolutions is going to be to find something positive to post about more often. I think it's human nature that we often study the negative more than the positive. And there is so much to be positive about with the spanking scene. I have met so many new people this past year, people who are enthusiastic about being in the scene. I admit that at times I am ambivalent about it. Then it takes meeting a new spanking friend or going to a really fun party to snap me out of it. But with the advent of the Internet, people are meeting and getting active in the scene where before they might have just left it a fantasy. I just wish the Internet had come along when I was 21 or so. Imagine the fun we would have had if it had come along sooner?
So one of my resolutions is going to be to find positive things to post about more often. I was going to say every day, but I think when making resolutions one should be realistic.
So look forward to seeing more positive posts from me in the near future. I am very sorry it's been a month since I last posted. I have been very busy (I work retail and this time of year is very busy) but I promise not to neglect my blog so badly.
I have another birthday coming up (it's on New Year's Eve so you can imagine I have had some fun birthdays!) and I am so very glad to be here to celebrate another one.
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas and I wish you all a very Happy and Healthy New Year!

Love,
Cigi

What I'm Thankful For

2007-11-22T09:36:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to take a moment today to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for this year (and every year) and you can bet I won't forget to go to The Source and say a sincere "Thank you" for everything I have.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I liked Christmas when the season started the day after Thanksgiving, not before Halloween. I think I liked Christmas a lot better before "door buster" and "early bird" sales that required me to get out of bed on a cold morning at an ungodly hour. So Thanksgiving, with it's connections to family and friends (not to mention food) has always been my favorite.
This year I do have a lot to be thankful for. My home, my family and friends, living another year to celebrate Thanksgiving. But I also have my spanking friends to be thankful for. Without you, I would never be able to take this fantastic voyage of discovery. A mere five years ago, I still thought I would never get to indulge this side of myself. I thought spanking was something I was destined to always just fantasize about; that I would never know the thrill of being over someone's knee, with my panties down, getting that spanking I so desperately wanted.
So I wanted to take a moment to say a sincere and heartfelt "Thank You" to anyone who might be reading this who has supported me, helped me or spanked me throughout the last five years. I have learned so much and I am so very thankful to all of you.
Thanks to you I have lived what I only dreamed about before. You have brought me happiness and I hope I have returned the favor.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

When It's Over

2007-11-16T12:20:00.000-08:00

If I have learned anything since becoming active in the scene, it's that we are first and foremost, people. Before we are anything else, we are human beings. Misunderstandings still occur and feelings can still be hurt, no matter how much two people might like each other or how long they have known each other.
Recently, one of the very first Tops I ever met in the spanking scene, ended our friendship. I am still confused and hurt over this and I am still trying to figure out why this happened.
He has always been a little bit of a diva. Appearances were everything and it always had to be about him. We played on his schedule, when it was convenient for him, or when the whim struck him. I wouldn't hear from him for weeks and then poof! He would get the itch to play and just expect me to be available. If my work schedule didn't allow that, he would pout for a few weeks and then I wouldn't hear from him again until he got over it. Now, when we did get together to play, he pampered me beyond belief with dinners or lunches and chocolate. Once he bought me a new keyboard for my computer for my birthday because I didn't have the money for it and he missed our chats. And he had some lovely toys that I absolutely loved.
Lately, however, I was noticing a change in his behavior. He had suggested getting together for my birthday (which is on New Year's Eve) but I had told him I had no idea what my work schedule would be. Granted, it took me a few days to answer his email. Everyone who knows me knows if they write me they can expect to wait a few days for an answer. It's not me being rude, it's just that every day I can receive between 100 and 150 emails and I have to sort through them. If I get a day behind, which is usually what happens, then it takes even longer for me to respond. But he wrote me a few days later accusing me of ignoring his email and his generous offer. I wrote him back that he has known me for almost five years and he knows how long it takes for me to go through my emails. I wasn't ignoring his email but I didn't yet have an answer for him. Now, let me clarify that we had a spanking thing going on. We were never romantically involved, and he certainly wasn't my Dom. We were friends who enjoyed getting together for play. Well, when I wrote him again and told him I had no idea what my schedule would be since it was about two months away, imagine my shock when he said a bunch of mean things about me and then had the audacity to tell me "don't contact me again". I would write him back just to get the last word but I know he would just delete the email without reading it, so why bother? This last email just confirmed in my mind what I had really always known: he hadn't really taken the time to get to know me. I was just a bottom for him to spank when the urge hit.
So, when it's over what do you do? You go out there and find someone else to play with. Even though my feelings are hurt and I am afraid of being hurt like this again, you still have to take that chance. But I will approach this all differently from now on and I will take the time to really get to know the people I currently play with. If he just wanted a bottom to spank why didn't he just get a blow up doll or something? That way, she could be available all the time and he wouldn't feel obligated to buy her dinner or anything.
So lesson learned: even after five years, how much to do you really know someone? You only know what someone lets you find out. I always knew this man was not the same person I was. For one thing, he was always throwing his college education in my face. Not in a mean way, but he just always made sure I knew he had two degrees and a better job than I had. In fact, everything he had was better than what I had. In his mind, that made him a better person than me.
I know I should be very sad that he is no longer in my life, but I have to say it was almost a blessing. He could no longer hide his superior attitude and I could no longer hide how much it hurt my feelings. We were just bound to drift apart.
That's why I always say be honest about what your needs are. If he had told me "I only play when the mood hits me. I'm not a 24/7 spanko" it would have made a difference. I probably would have still gotten together with him, but I wouldn't have invested five years in a friendship with him. I just wish it hadn't taken five years for me to realize I wasn't his type of bottom and he wasn't really what I was looking for in a top. But I thought we were more than just a bottom and a top. I thought we were friends and we probably were. I just didn't see that he was looking to end his friendship with me (probably because he either found someone closer to home or more his "speed") and he would use any excuse to do it.
So when it's over don't be afraid to get back out there and meet new people. I am having a lot of fun looking for new people to play with. Life marches on so don't waste one precious day of it having regrets or being sorry. Take your memories with you when you leave and remember them fondly, but whatever else you do, please move on. I know he has.

"Bad Little Girl" (and other nonsense)

2007-11-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

I was going through some old emails the other day (I printed out every email I ever received in my early days in the scene) and one phrase permeates a few of them: "bad little girl". In those early days, I would blush at the thought that an over 40 woman could be a "little girl" of any kind, much less a bad one. Now, when I see that phrase, it really makes me angry. I think the phrase angers me so much because of the punishment conotations; someone decided for me that they were in charge and would decide when I was a "bad little girl" in need of a spanking. At first, when someone would post a message to one of the groups I belonged to saying I was a "bad little girl", I would just protest and proclaim I was an angel. Now, the phrase rankles me to the point where it is almost an insult especially if the guy doesn't know "me", but simply my reputation as a brat. Now, when I'm playing I don't mind being called "young lady" or "Missy" or something, but I hate anything that starts with the adjective "little"; "little girl" or "little one" anger me. And I hate it when someone asks me, while playing, "Is this what bad little girls get?" or some other such nonsense. I have nothing against those who like those little scoldings, but if you're a Top ask if this is a desire or not. There are those of us out there who don't like it. This is usually coming from someone who wouldn't spank a real life "bad little girl" because he doesn't believe in spanking children. Well, if you don't believe in spanking children (for whatever reason) why are you spanking me and calling me a "bad little girl"? I can't explain it but as soon as I hear "bad little girl" or some version of it, the scene is usually ruined for me. I have told the people I play with that I just get spanked for fun. I am not a "bad little girl" and I don't get spanked for punishment. Most have been understanding. But there are still a few who persist in believing a 40+ year old woman can somehow be a "bad little girl". Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have an inner child who needs to be spanked, nurtured, held accountable, or punished for being "bad". I am a grown woman and I demand to be treated that way, even when I'm over someone's knee getting a spanking. Another thing I think is absolutely ridiculous is standing in the corner. I will not do it for anyone. Now, as I always say, I have nothing against those who enjoy this, but for me, it's just too humiliating and would ruin what might otherwise be a very fun scene. Just another case of "different strokes for different folks". What I might find horrible and humiliating, another bottom might find fun. In fact, I know many bottoms who enjoy corner standing. I am just not one of them. In fact, I am not a fan of any behavior where a man has decided he's in charge and I will just do what he says. If, while we're playing, he scolds me by saying, "You've been a very naughty girl and now I have to spank you to help you remember not to be naughty", he will be met by a very loud "YAWNNNNNN". That tells him to go a different direction. Play should always be fun for both participants. If only one person is having fun it's time to speak up and I have no problem with that. Keep it fun and I can play all day! :)

Spanking: Male vs. Female

2007-11-05T17:44:00.000-08:00

Having just returned from a very fun party, there are a few things about the spankings I received last weekend that have stuck in my mind.

When I went to my first party, in fact my first few parties, I swore I would never enjoy being spanked by another woman. I naively thought if people knew I played with women they would think I was a lesbian. I had a lot to learn.

I discovered at about my fourth party that I enjoy being spanked by women. For one thing, after a day of getting pummelled by big, strong male Tops, it was nice to get a nice, relaxing spanking from a woman. Not that women can't or don't spank hard; they do. But I have yet to come across a woman who can spank as hard as a man. I'm sure they are out of there, but that is not the reason I play with women.

In my experience, women tend to be more nurturing and "motherly", especially when spanking another woman. They are more apt to offer aftercare and want you to stay around and talk afterwards. I love having "girl talk" while my favorite female top spanks me.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy a spanking from a strong man the best. But I enjoy spankings from women for other reasons. A spanking from a woman has different sensations than the spanking a man might give you. For one thing, women usually have smaller hands, which makes for a different feel. Even toys have a different sensation when used by women vs. men. So now, I have no problem accepting that offer to play from a woman. I remember the first time a woman turned me over her knee. The sensation of being over a woman's knee was new and unfamiliar. But she was patient with me and I could tell she was used to being in charge. She didn't skimp on the warm up and she unloaded her entire toy bag on me, buggy whip and all. At first I was afraid of this instrument. But the sting was delightful and the marks it left were very pretty. The same toy in a man's hands feels very different. I will never forget that woman for introducing me (in the most wonderful way possible) to being spanked by another woman. There was nothing sexual about it and no one accused me of being a lesbian. Those were misconceptions I had in my own mind. Ones that I had to disabuse myself of. So, I still love spanking from men the best, but there are a few women who, if they ask me to play, I don't turn them down. On Saturday night, just as I was beginning to get sleepy, my favorite female top asked me to play. It was perfect timing as I was getting ready to head to bed. She gave me the most wonderful spanking and sent me off to bed with a glowing, warm bottom. We talked for about an hour after we were done playing. Just talking about everything...spanking, life, religion, etc. She is a wonderful friend and a good spanker. Although spanking by another woman isn't everyone's cup of tea, I am not sorry I decided to "go there". I think when we start out on this journey, we all have something that is taboo; something we say we will absolutely never do. Getting spanked by another woman was mine. And I had decided for stupid reasons that this wasn't going to happen. I let my own misconceptions and preconceived notions keep from me from enjoying something that has been very satisfying for me emotionally. I'm not advocating doing something you know would be damaging to you emotionally or physically and I'm not suggesting that someone "talked me into" doing this thing I said I would never do. It's just that curiosity got the best of me and I'm very glad it did.

Post Party Let Down

2007-10-30T21:11:00.001-07:00

First of all, I'm really sorry I haven't written for a while. Having a busy work schedule and (for once) a hectic social life has kept me from blogging as often as I'd like.

Just got back from a spanking party in Chicago. I met a lot of new people and got reconnected with old friends. I even got to play with a Top I hadn't seen for three years. His spanking skills were amazing...just like I remembered them. Playing with him was the highlight of my weekend. I also got to watch my ride give another girl a few strokes with a switch when we stopped at a rest stop. Then, when he was done with her, it was my turn. I was the only one with the guts to drop my pants...don't worry, we made sure we weren't seen. It was so much fun meeting the new people. They are the future of the club so we all want to make sure they have a good time. I was particularly happy to meet Purple Angel at this party, her first. She seemed to have a great time although we really didn't get to talk much. Every time I saw her in the party suite, she had a big smile on her face. She made sure I got a candy cane (an in joke), and she made sure to let me know what a great time she was having. But, like all party weekends, this one went too fast. There just wasn't enough time in the weekend to play with everyone and do all the things I'd planned. But I spent the whole weekend high on endorphins and when the weekend is over and it's time to go back to work, I sometimes find myself feeling a bit let down, almost depressed. This time I landed with a thud; it was a rude awakening to say the least. Even after almost five years of going to spanking parties, I still haven't come across a "cure" for this feeling. Perhaps just playing again helps, or chatting with friends who were there. If anyone knows how to lessen these feelings, please let me know. I'll post more about the party later. Everyone have a great day! :)

Spanking Videos

2007-10-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

What is it about spanking videos that just does it for us? For some, I suppose it's the "I'll show you who's in charge" aspect of it. For some, it's the sexy "I'm doing this because I care" aspect of others. But what about people like me for whom spanking is neither punishment nor a necessary part of our sexuality? What about those of us who just get spanked because it's so much fun? I'm not denying that spanking is sexual for me. But I like to keep the two separated. I don't get spanked so I can function sexually. I can have sex without spanking. So, for me at least, this isn't a fetish in the strictest sense.

It is very hard to find videos that don't offend me on some level. Let me explain that. Some of the punishment videos have unnecessary and gratuitous nudity. I know, I know...in punishment, being naked adds to the humiliation. And let's face it, what guy doesn't like seeing a naked girl? Well, I don't watch videos to enjoy the humiliation of others and I don't watch to see naked girls. I watch to be entertained. The "romantic" videos always have their share of butt plugs, vibrators and digital penetration. I don't watch spanking vids to get my porn fix, either. If I wanted to watch porn, I would simply buy porn.

When I purchase a spanking video I am looking for at least half-way plausible scenarios and well done spanking. I have several videos where I have asked, "Did they just pick someone off the streets and offer them money? This idiot doesn't have the slightest idea what he's doing."

I even have one video that a friend sent me that I can't even watch because the guy doing the "spanking" is just a butcher. During the caning part of the tape, he landed several right across this poor girl's tailbone. I watched it once or twice and it just makes me retch so I don't watch it anymore. So in my opinion it is hard to find videos that completely satisfy. Something is always missing or just a little bit wrong.

I do enjoy Shadow Lane videos. I mean, the ones without the butt plugs, vibrators, digital penetration and "hot girl on girl action". Shadow Lane has shown for about the last twenty years that they care about quality and it always shows in their videos. Eve Howard takes the time to dress her actors and actresses beautifully and make sure the sets are dressed nicely, too. You won't see some cheesy hotel room with shag carpeting in a Shadow Lane video. Even though they concentrate more on the "punishment" aspect of spanking, most of the time they come pretty close to the mark. The people in the videos all seem like they are where they want to be and are having fun.

About five years ago, when I first became active in the scene, I was asked if I would ever do a video. At the time, my answer was an emphatic "No!" I would never want anything out there with me getting spanked that anyone I didn't want to might see. Now, I might change my answer. For many years, in spanking videos all we saw were cute, young, thin co-ed types getting spanked. It was as if the companies were all telling us "If you wear a bigger size and have too many candles on your birthday cake you can forget about playing in the scene. No one wants you!" Now, I have been happy to see a slow change coming about in the spanking video industry. I recently purchased several Shadow Lane videos that featured women who were more, shall we say, representative of the average woman in the scene. They were still young but they were larger women. It shows me that they are trying to tell people "Guess what? You don't have to be cute, thin and 21 to play. Older people and those of us who don't look like Nicole Kidman can find our place in the scene, too."

For me, watching a spanking video helps me get my spanking fix between play dates and parties. It used to be my only outlet before I got active in the scene. It isn't about having something to masturbate with or getting off watching some stud make a poor girl strip naked and then submit to punishment. I just like the sights and sounds of spanking and, when I can't play all the time, spanking videos fill the void.

I would be hard pressed to pick a favorite. The ones I have all have their pluses and minuses. And my tastes have changed over the years. What I really liked to watch five or six years ago, I no longer enjoy. Some I thought were so-so back then are more entertaining now. I think that is good, too. I'd be interested in hearing from some of you about what your favorite spanking video is or if you even think there is a place for them. I just know that spanking videos do fill a void that, fortunately, doesn't have to be filled too often.

Finding Spanking Partners

2007-10-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

One of the groups I belong to received a message from a frustrated man who lives out west and can't seem to find any spanking partners. I really felt his frustration but I had to wonder how he goes about trying to find people.
The one thing I had to do right from the start was give up my notion that I would find anyone local. I just knew there couldn't be too many people in my city who were into spanking. And those who were were probably staying pretty quiet about it. So I joined a spanking group in the largest city in my state (which happens to be Chicago) and started reading the message board there. I met people at my first party and made contacts. I went to the members list and tried to find interesting people there. This is where an empty profile really can work against you. In the effort to try to remain anonymous, you give no information at all that let's potential play partners know you are even interested. I view people who won't give any information as trolls who are either after the email addresses of women and are just looking for sex, or who are paranoid that giving any information at all will allow vanilla friends, family or co-workers to find out who they are. In order to meet people in this scene, you have to roll the dice and take a few chances. I'm not talking about taking stupid chances and putting yourself at risk. I mean, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and say "I am into spanking and looking for others who are like me."
The Yahoo groups I belong to all have thousands of members. Some look interesting, some I take a pass on. When you find someone who you think fits what you might be looking for, it costs nothing to drop a line and say "I saw your Yahoo profile and thought you sounded interesting. Would it be ok to chat?" If you get a reply, things go from there.
I have the feeling this frustrated spanker has his expectations set a little on the high side. You have to keep your expectations realistic. I mean how many women who look like Samantha Woodley are actually in the scene? Most of us are middle aged and our bodies aren't perfect. If you expect that kind of perfection, join Shadow Lane and see if you have any luck with their video performers.
Another unrealistic expectation is that some people expect a woman to just drop what she's doing and meet someone on a moment's notice. This just isn't going to happen. You should expect to have a few online chats, emails and even phone conversations before someone agrees to meet you and, even then, you shouldn't automatically expect to play. You should expect to meet at a neutral sight for a long conversation about what you both want. If she won't agree to play then, be patient. Make plans to meet again. When a woman sees that you're willing to be patient, it makes all the difference in the world.
I have health issues that severely curtail my driving abilities so whoever wants to play with me has to drive to me, I can't go to them. And I still have no problem finding spanking partners. Now, I grant you, none of them are really what I would call local, but if you want to play you have to be willing to drive some distance, perhaps to another state even. And you have to be willing, as a gentleman, to make concessions for a lady if you want to spank her. For one thing, she will probably want to take her safety into account and have a safe call in place. She may even want another friend in the scene to be present. She may want to play at a neutral sight (such as a friend's house or a hotel) rather than let a complete stranger know where she lives. If you are willing to make a few concessions (even if it inconveniences you a little) you will have better luck finding people than if you make a bunch of unreasonable demands or have unrealistic expectations of what a spankee should be or do. Above all, earn each other's trust and never, ever violate that trust. I speak from personal experience. Once someone violates your trust it is very, very hard to win it back. So just don't go there anyway. Become friends before anything else happens. If you're looking for something romantic and she's just looking for fun spanking partners, then that needs to be addressed, of course. Trust, honesty and respect of self and others is very important to me and I believe it's important to most of us.
I believe another reason this person is having a hard time finding someone to play with is that maybe he's not being entirely truthful about what he's looking for. If you want to find people who are fun to play with and who are on the same page as you are, you are going to have to be honest about what you're looking for.
I remember one time I was going through the members list of a group I belong to with a friend of mine. I came to a certain man who said he enjoyed giving and receiving enemas. I looked at the picture of this clean cut and ordinary-looking man and said, "That's gross!" My friend, much more enlightened perhaps than I, replied, "At least he's being honest about what he's into." She was right.

First Party

2007-10-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

As I have a spanking party coming up at the end of October that I'm going to, I have been thinking about my party memories a lot.
I have several regular play partners I get together and play with, so it's not like I only get to play at parties. But the party scene is different and I find myself getting very excited about the upcoming party and then that makes me remember past parties even more fondly.
I have met some really wonderful people at these parties. I have also met some really horrible ones. And I've met some people I consider dangerous.
At my first party, I sort of walked around with I'm sure this goofy smile on my face; a look that just screamed "I'm a newbie". Fortunately, there were several women there who took me under their wings and helped me out a great deal. I was introduced to arnica at that first party and, believe me, I needed it. My first party spanking turned out to be as disappointing as my first private spanking. The guy who spanked me was perhaps a poor choice but he paid my party fee so I felt I owed him the honor of being first. That was my first big mistake. He was not only a Dom, but a master. Someone who was used to women kneeling at his feet and calling him "Master". He knew I wasn't submissive and I wouldn't be doing that but he did tell me, "When you're ready for your spanking come and ask me for it."
I looked him right in the face and said, "Yeah, right."
I think that was a mistake, to roll my eyes at him and say something sarcastic. I had no idea how seriously this guy took his role as Master. But I found out. I watched a few girls getting spanked publicly and I couldn't stand it anymore. I found him in another room and I walked up to him and said, "Are you ready to spank me?" I think he expected me to say something like, "Oh Sir, will you kindly spank me now?" or something like that. I don't think he appreciated how casually I took this. The first thing he did was make sure I was comfortable over his lap, which was monumental. The guy was huge; about 6'4" and about 230 lbs. I couldn't believe I was letting this behemoth spank me. The spanking began on my jeans. Since it was January I was perhaps excused, as keeping warm was more important than easy access to my bottom. The spanking began with a pretty nice warm up, but I think he was just lulling me into a false sense of security. Once he asked me to take my jeans down, all bets were off. Those first few parties, I wore panties with a thong underneath to preserve my modesty. He asked if he could take down my thong, saying "your bottom's not completely bare if you're still wearing a thong". I told him, "My bottom is bare enough for what you need it for. The thong stays where it is." I believe what followed was "punishment", first for not asking for my spanking in a more demure manner and secondly for refusing to let him take my thong down. To use spanking party jargon, he "toasted" me; that is he caused enough damage that I would need to "rest" for about two hours before I could play again. He spanked my thighs as hard as he spanked my bottom and I had to "yellow" him several times. He gave me a spanking befitting his massive size and strength.This all took place in public and no one chided him for spanking me the way he did until it was over. I had no idea but the President of the club and a few board members were watching. They disliked this guy to begin with and I think now they disliked him even more. I never saw him at another party. I couldn't articulate my feelings then, but now I think he was simply showing off for his audience, showing them what he did to newbies who didn't act submissive enough.
To make up for that horrible first spanking (after which a couple of the women took me to a room and introduced me to arnica, which really works by the way), one of the men told me, "When you're done resting come and find me and I'll show you how he should have really spanked you."
When I was done resting I did indeed seek this man out, and he introduced me to the delights of the "sensuous" spanking. Now I'm not talking about sexual or erotic, I mean just a nice "sensation" spanking where I learned about all the sensations of spanking. I learned I loved leather and I got my first caning at this party. I have loved the cane ever since. So the good at this party far outweighed the bad. I don't know if he never came to another party out of choice or he was asked not to come back, but whatever the reason, he hasn't been back. I always tell new girls to pick their first party spanker with care. This is true even if you've been playing for a while but this is your first party. That first spanker can (and often does) influence greatly how you feel about parties. I sight my own experience as an example of how NOT to pick that first spanker. Luckily, he didn't ruin the party scene for me. And, even luckier, a real gentleman came along and showed me how it should really be done. I will always thank this man for this. A girl's first party is very important. No matter how many years pass, I still remember most of it like it was yesterday, a sign that fun was had despite how horrible my first spanking had been.
I liken that first party to a smorgasbord. I wanted to try a little of everything and I did. I found out alot about what I liked and didn't like, with both toys and tops.
While I have never been as nervous and excited as I was for that first party, I still get giddy and excited a few weeks before a party, wondering who is going to be there and who I'll play with. Spanking parties are about so much more than spanking, though. Much conversation is had as we can talk openly about it with like minded people. I enjoy the fellowship and camaraderie almost as much as I enjoy the spanking.
I'm getting really excited about this party! :)

Public or Private?

2007-10-02T21:44:00.000-07:00

My friend, Purple Angel, is going to her first spanking party at the end of the month. I am so happy and excited for her because I remember my first spanking party, in January, 2003. It seems like yesterday to me. I can't believe it's been almost five years!

She brought up a good point about being spanked in public (in the party room with people watching) vs. being spanked in private, that is in either hers or his private hotel room.

There are other factors to consider rather than just being seen bare bottomed by a roomful of people vs. being seen by just the person spanking you. I'll address those later.

For me, getting spanked in the public party room is a hoot; great fun for everyone. I am sort of a show off and great big ham. I love nothing better than taking a spanking in front of these people, most of whom I've been playing with for years. They have all seen my bottom bare many, many times and I have never been embarrassed to have my bare bottom seen.

A public spanking is fun for everyone, the participants and the observers. There are rules for watching someone get a spanking in public. They are not allowed to "coach" the spanker or become involved with the spanking itself or otherwise put their hands (or anything else) on the spankee. One time, when I was taking a rather intense bare bottom spanking in public (for bratting...I know everyone who knows me is so shocked! LOL) one of the male tops watching decided he needed to hold my hands for me, so I didn't get them in the way of the top who was actually spanking me. I have a pretty big mouth and I told that top to let go of my hands...immediately. He did and seemed shocked that I would be so aggressive about it, but it made me very uncomfortable, even though I knew this person wasn't trying to hurt me or purposely make me uncomfortable.

Taking a spanking in a public party room (bare bottom or otherwise) should be the spankee's decision. I wouldn't let anyone talk me into it if I wasn't ready for it. Like Purple Angel, I am not exactly as young as I used to be and my body has certainly seen better days. But I know I am among friends who would never say anything about my body and I would never say anything about theirs.

As for going to a private room to play, this can be tricky for a first timer. Before going to a private room with anyone the first time, you should go find a couple of other bottoms and ask them how this top rates both as a spanker and as a gentleman. Believe me, we bottoms talk and if we come across someone we particularly like, we tell the other girls about him. Likewise, if someone hasn't behaved himself with us, we tell them about that, too. And you should never be afraid to let someone in charge know that someone has been inappropriate with you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, they do.

At a party, you can really let your excitement get the better of you. Keep your wits about you and if your gut tells you "this isn't right" don't be afraid to politely tell someone, "You know, I changed my mind. I think I would rather play some other time". If you want to play with someone privately, but feel squeamish about going to a private room with someone you just met, take along another person, whether it be a man or a woman. No top worth his salt (and who wants to preserve his good reputation in the scene) will mind this. I have done this for newbies many times.

A private scene can be very, very rewarding and fun. You have more time to talk and get to know each other and if your styles are compatible before you play. Plus you don't have the distractions of other people watching, talking, getting up and leaving, etc while you are playing. You can concentrate just on your spanking. And a private session can be a little (or a lot) longer, depending on what you've agreed upon. It's a lot easier to try new toys in private than it is in public, too, just for the fact that you aren't distracted and neither is your spanker.

I don't endorse either type of spanking as better or worse than the other. I'm just saying they are different and both are fun in their own way. I have enjoyed both but I understand people's need to play the way that makes them comfortable. I know tops who will only play in public and bottoms who will only play in private, and vice versa. You have to do what is comfortable for you. There are advantages and disadvantages in both cases.

Either way, we are going to get that delicious spanking we are looking for...right, Purple Angel? :)

Bottom vs. Submissive

2007-10-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

Today someone sent me an email asking me "Aren't all spankees by their very nature submissive?"

I had to think about that in my own situation before I answered him. It is not an unreasonable assumption; it's just wrong. I don't like this generalization any more than I do any other generalization about the scene. There are a lot of misconceptions and this is one of them; the worst in my opinion.

It is my opinion that not all people who like to be spanked are submissive. It depends on your need/desire to be pleasing and to give up your power and control to someone else. I know some submissives who really don't like spanking, they just "submit" to it because their Dominant decided they deserved one. Or because it would please him/her greatly. For me, if I am over someone's knee it is because I choose to be there. It is not because someone decided I needed a spanking and it isn't to please anyone else, although I certainly hope spanking me is fun for them. Now, that being said, does that still make me a little bit submissive because I voluntarily went over someone's lap? In some people's opinion that would be a yes. Not in mine. To me, spanking isn't fun unless I'm treated as an equal. Submissives often want the man to be in charge; to "correct"them for their bad behavior, to hold them accountable for it, etc. There is nothing wrong with that. But many times a top doesn't believe a person who says they aren't submissive, but a spankee or a bottom and they treat them like a submissive anyway. Nothing rankles me worse than that. I'm not taking anything away from women or men who want to be submissive. Or from women or men who want to be Dominant. But not every top is dominant and not every bottom is submissive. I firmly believe that.
There is plenty of room for everyone in our scene. But, in my opinion, there is no room for stereotype or generalization. Those who engage in this activity do a grave disservice to the scene.
When I first got into the scene actively, I explored my submissive side. I went to a Dom I knew and trusted and asked him to put me through my paces. This was a person I enjoyed playing with a lot. But he always took his Dom hat off when we played. I wanted to be treated like any other submissive. Before we had our scene, I told him there were three things I would not do: I would not undress for him, there would be no bondage, and I would not submit to anything sexual. But those were my usual limits. Other than that he could expect to be obeyed. He respected the limits I laid out and we had our scene, with the understanding that I could safeword out if it got too intense or yucky for me.
To make a long story short, I hated every minute of it. When we played as equals, we had a great time. When there was a disparity of power, neither of us enjoyed it. I asked him why he didn't have fun even though I all ready knew the answer. He said, "I didn't enjoy dominating you because that's not what you are." In other words, the submissive cupboard is bare. And it wasn't a real intense scene. He didn't require me to kneel at his feet (he knew better than to ask that anyway) or stand in the corner, something I would never do under any circumstances anyway. But I was required to call him "Sir" and to obey his other commands. Now, as I said when we played as equals I always had a great time. When I had to call him "Sir" and obey him, it made me somewhat angry and resentful. All I felt was that he was being bossy and demanding and pushing his weight around. I came, I saw, I went home. That sums up my feelings about exploring my submissive side. It's not what everyone is about. We are all different. To put us all in the same pigeonhole as "submissive" or "dominant" is too clean and easy and perpetuates myths and generalizations.
I am all for people being who and what they are. But don't make me something I'm not just to fit me into your fantasy or your opinion of what a spankee should be. And, believe me, I learned a long time ago, don't be something you're not just so someone will like you and want to play with you. Be true to yourself no matter what category you might fall into.

Toys

2007-09-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

Even though I love a spanking with a big, firm hand, I do have my favorite toys. I think a spanking isn't a spanking without that over the knee, bare bottom warm up and progression to the serious toys.
First of all, I love a spanking that starts on clothes and a Top who likes to peel down the layers of clothing till he gets to the "bottom of things". I don't have a fancy spanking wardrobe like some have. I have the clothes in my closet, consisting mainly of jeans and tops, some skirts and a few nice dresses. I do splurge on nice panties, though. :-)
Most of the Tops I have played with absolutely hate spanking on jeans. The material is too tough on their poor, little hands. I have met very few who would humor me and start on jeans and even fewer who actually enjoy spanking on jeans.
Even when I wear a skirt for a certain Top I play with, the first thing he does when he gets me over his knee is lift up the skirt and spank on my panties.
Once the hand spanking is over and the toys come out that is a fun part. Most of the Tops I play with have a considerable amount of their own toys, both homemade and purchased. But I also have my own toy bag, consisting mostly of leather but with some wood. I have a few toys that were gifts from beloved Tops (like the heavy strap that I have finally gotten worn in just where I want it) and the paddle that was given to me by a Top who knows I will never allow anyone to actually paddle me with it, him included. But most of the toys in my bag were made by one person, a kind man who lives in Florida and makes the best leather toys in the galaxy. I also have a wonderful razor strap that I recently purchased and am the proud owner of 2 more canes.
Canes are my favorite toy. Once I was introduced to the exquisite pain of this beautiful instrument, there was no going back. I loved everything about it. The first sharp and painful impact and the second delicious wave of pain I call the "afterburn". Now, I like to be caned hard but not brutally. The cane can be brutal in the wrong hands and you can absolutely cut someone to ribbons if you don't know what you're doing. You can also send someone to heaven if you do it right. I think the cane gets a bad rap in spanking circles. People see the cane and think of angry English schoolmasters or Singaporean justice. This isn't so nor does it have to be. Yes, you can cause damage with the cane, but you can also fall in love for life with it, as I have done. The first person who ever caned me introduced me to it in a very nice way. I got a very nice hand spanking warm up first. Then he showed me his canes. At first, they looked terrifying and I wondered what I was doing agreeing to this. But I was very curious about the cane, as I suspect most newbies are. He very patiently started with light taps to my bottom to get me used to the feel of it. Then he progressed to some harder strokes. I have to admit the swoosh sound it made was very unnerving at first. Now I love that sound. Then he gave me what he called a few "moderate" strokes that took my breath away. But it was then that I felt that wonderful sting and then the delicious afterburn. In my opinion, the cane is the best thing ever invented. I love straps and leather and wood paddles as well, but my favorite toy will always be the cane, at least in the hands of a capable Top. The marks are pretty too and they usually don't last very long. I like a Top who can make "ladder marks" on my bottom. Those are the marks of a skillful caner who knows how to control both aim and intensity. Using the cane correctly and safely takes some practice so if you are interested in using the cane, go to someone practiced in it's use to teach you the safe method of caning. If you are a bottom and are interested in being caned for the first time, my sincere advice is to seek out the people who have a good reputation as an able caner. Ask around your circle of spanking friends. Don't let just anyone use the cane or any toy on you without knowing they have the skill to be using it. Even if the Top's intentions were good and honorable, that still doesn't make getting hurt any less painful.
That's all for now! Everyone have a great night!

Limits

2007-09-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

Safety in the scene is one area where I am constantly on my soapbox. I have often been accused of "shattering people's illusions and fantasies" by bringing up safety issues. Well, would you rather have your illusions or be safe? Sometimes, it's literally a matter of life or death. Just read the newspapers.

One way we keep ourselves physically and emotionally safe is with our limits. I speak more of this when playing casually (such as at parties) than when playing with a trusted partner or SO. But they should still honor your limits. Simply stated limits are those things which would make us uncomfortable or frightened or we just plain don't want to do. Limits should always be honored and I always make it part of negotations (another area I will touch on in another post). If the Top you are negotiating with either doesn't take your limits seriously, or worse, laughs at them, run don't walk away from him. If he politely asks if pushing your limits gently is ok, that is a decision you'll have to make. If he tells you that your limits aren't what you think they are or that "no one who plays with me is allowed to have limits", tell him you'll talk to him later...in about a hundred years.
There is absolutely no excuse for exceeding someone's limits. I don't care what someone's reputation is as a Dom or what a "brat" might have done, exceeding someone's limits is grounds for expulsion from most reputable clubs.
There are some Doms out there who believe that when you agree to play with them, you are agreeing to anything they might find amusing, including things you expressed as a limit. Again, this is your decision to make if you want to let someone push or even exceed your limits. I don't let anyone exceed or laugh at my limits, which happen to be reasonable. Most people have reasonable limits. You have the right to have your limits be whatever you want them to be. One of my very hard limits is that I won't stand in the corner; not for anyone. When this limit is expressed, most Tops just say, "Ok, we won't do that". I have had some say, "You'll do whatever you're told." The next thing they usually hear is the door slamming behind me. That's my way of saying "I am not submissive, and even if I were, I am not YOUR submissive and I don't have to do what you tell me". Sometimes it is best to just end things if you and the Top can't find the same page. Some people are just not compatible. I found that out during my first spanking (which I've all ready bored everyone with). Since I'm not submissive it's best I don't play with Doms or Masters, but stick to Tops or at least Doms who don't mind putting the Dom behavior aside for a while to play with me. It's the ones who won't do it and who tell me "you are submissive since you like to be spanked" that I refuse to play wtih. I guess what I'm saying with this is that you should let any person you are going to play with know your limits and make sure that person respects them. If you don't count strokes, say so. If you won't stand in the corner, say so. Whatever your limits are state them matter of factly and don't take no for an answer. Anyone who doesn't respect your limits, doesn't respect you. That is the bottom line.

Thoughts about My First Spanking

2007-09-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone...I said I would get back to my thoughts about my first spanking. I actually hadn't thought about it for quite some time. And I have to admit I haven't played with him since. It's not that he's a bad person or a bad spanker or anything. We just never clicked. I still see him at parties.

I suppose what helped me was that I didn't romanticize either the spanker or the spanking. If I had it might have really made the whole thing a big turn off for me. In my mind, I was conducting an experiment. I had about thirty-five years of fantasizing behind me. I wanted to know if the reality would match my fantasy. It didn't, but at least I found the process somewhat enjoyable and that I was a real spanko. I just found it odd that he didn't talk much. He didn't seem to enjoy it himself. It seemed like he was going through the motions. I think he expected me to be more demonstrative or something, but I had no idea what he expected from me. This was my first spanking. I didn't know how to react or anything, so I didn't. I just kind of laid there and tried not to move too much. It wasn't a total loss. I found out some things that day about spanking and myself. I learned that I was never again going to be uncommunicative with my spanker. If he didn't want to talk, that was too bad, I was going to communicate whether he liked it or not. If I didn't like something I was going to speak up and too bad if he didn't like it. I didn't care if it shattered his illusions about the "fantasy" or not. Some things are more important than that. That's why I always say negotiate, negotiate, negotiate...that way there are no surprises and you don't have to maybe ruin a scene for someone else or yourself by safewording or stopping the spanking.
The first time I dropped my jeans and got over his lap, I said to myself (I might even have said it out loud), "I can't believe I'm doing this." It was as if the first 40 years of my life hadn't existed. There was no time before this. I was reborn in that moment when his hand met my bottom for the first time and I let out that little "oh!" of surprise. Even though this spanking had been somewhat disappointing, I knew there were other men (and women) with other styles and I just had to find the people who fit my style, whatever that was.

Intolerance

2007-09-22T18:36:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking for some time now about myself and my views of other people's spanking desires (I hate the word "kink"...it sounds like we all go around wearing trench coats or something). I have tried honestly to accept and be tolerant of the needs and desires of my friends in the scene. And, of course, I would never be judgemental. But, truthfully, I do find some aspects of the scene abhorrent. Does this make me intolerant? Judgemental? Closed minded?
Just because we are all into spanking, doesn't mean we all want the same thing, all like the same things or do the same thing. That would be naive. I have stressed many, many times that I only play for fun. I don't get punished nor do I play for sexual gratification. I only play erotically with someone I'm in a relationship with. I am not casual about my body nor am I casual about sex. Does this mean I am a prude who has no business calling herself a spanko? As I said in another post, I have been trying to find my place in the spanking world.
I have been at parties or chatting with friends and when they mention something I find disturbing or just plain gross, I find myself trying to find the words to politely say "that's nice" while not trying to appear rude or unaccepting. I am not perfect and the mention of certain activities makes me shudder. Like the friend I work with who likes electric play and heavy bondage. Every time he talks about the things he likes, it makes me almost physically sick. Does this make me a horrible friend? Unaccepting? Closed minded? Like I said, I'm not perfect and these little things make me upset with myself at times. But, at the same time, am I not an American with the First Amendment right to free speech? Do I do like my mother told me and just not say anything if I don't have anything nice to say?
Or do we have the right, when someone asks our opinion, to honestly say, "I'm glad you enjoy that. It's not something I would enjoy though" without said person getting his or her feelings hurt over it? Or acting like we are intolerant and unaccepting just because we said we wouldn't like something they do?
On the spanking groups I belong to, we try not to disagree with anyone. We try not to step on anyone's toes. We tell new members that everyone is welcoming and accepting of them. But is that really true? If you belong to spanking groups, have you ever looked at someone's introduction, read their stories or their profiles and thought "YUCK! I think I'll avoid that person"? I mean to each his own, but still....YUCK!
Someone has probably thought the same thing about me. I'm almost sure they have. I don't mean they think what I do is gross. But they probably think I am an unusual person in the scene because I won't get sexual with someone I just met. And, let's face it, there are those out there who want their sex and spanking fix and when they come across someone like me who won't "deliver" the first time we play, I'm sure they shake their head and wonder about me. Does this make them intolerant? Unaccepting? Closed minded?
These are just my thoughts tonight.
I honestly hope I haven't ruffled any feathers with this post. It's just something I've been thinking about for some time.
Thanks for your comments!

First Spanking

2007-09-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

I have never forgotten my first ever spanking as an adult. I am willing to bet most other spankos haven't either. To me, it's like your first sexual experience. Even if it was bad, you never forget it. Not that my first spanking was bad, necessarily, it just could have been made more memorable for me.

The man who gave me my first ever scene spanking was a member of one of the groups I belonged to. It turned out he lived very close to me. He was an older man with more experience than I had. That wouldn't be too difficult since I didn't have any! We made plans to meet in my city at a restaurant of my choosing. We met and had coffee. I asked him a million questions about the group and about spanking in general. He looked just like anyone else who was meeting a friend for a cup of coffee. He was very patient with my many questions and he answered them all. I didn't feel ready to actually play, but we made plans to meet again the next week. In my very limited experience, he seemed ok to me.
When we met the next week, I was very nervous. For one thing, we couldn't play at my house, because I had vanilla family members living with me at the time. A dear friend of mine, who knew this about me, agreed to let me use his house while he was at work.
We sat down and talked some more for what seemed like forever. I was still very nervous and it occurred to me that we should be putting each other at ease, but he seemed pretty nervous, too. Then he asked me if I was ready for my spanking.
He pulled a chair to the edge of the couch. Since I was wearing jeans and he didn't want to start on such heavy material, I dropped them and then got over his knee. The couch supported my upper body and I was surprisingly comfortable. But I was shaking from nerves. I couldn't believe I was finally doing this. The spanking began very lightly. The spanks were almost taps. I wanted him to get on with it, but I had no idea this was the warm up, the prelude to the real thing. I was so naive and I didn't even know there was safe and unsafe places to spank. I guess I hadn't done my homework very well.
All the while this man was performing this intimate and much anticipated act, he didn't say a word. Never asked me if I was doing ok. Never asked me if I was still comfortable in this position. I never clicked with him on any level. He was just spanking me. I might as well have been being spanked by a machine.
When he was done with the initial spanking, we took a break and went to lunch. In the restaurant, he asked me not to smoke. It was the first words he had spoken to me since the spanking began.
After lunch, I wasn't exactly revved up for more spanking, but he had driven a considerable distance and I suppose he wanted to get his money's worth. He spanked me some more, exactly the same way, with exactly the same number of words spoken: zero. He finished spanking me, thanked me for a nice time, gave me a perfunctory hug, and left. It was then that I learned a few things about the way I would like to be spanked.
I will post them and my feelings about my first spanking in another blog.
Everyone have a great day!

How I Joined This "Whacky" World

2007-09-21T10:55:00.000-07:00

Probably, like many of you, I have been fascinated by spanking since I was a very small child. Of course, at that young age I didn't "like" spanking, but I was fascinated by watching others get spanked, whether it was a schoolmate, one of my friends at home or on television. With that fascination came confusion. Once I hit puberty and my hormones began raging, I was even more confused. Of course, I couldn't talk to my parents or anyone else about it, since there was obviously something wrong with me. And, of course, I was the only person in the world who felt this way. So it was a secret I held for many years.
In high school, when I acquired my first serious boyfriend, I dropped hints. When that didn't work I tried to "brat" him into spanking me. That worked for a time, but I usually had to get him to the boiling point and then, the spanking wasn't the fun thing I wanted it to be. I felt like he spanked me because he was angry; completely exasperated. That certainly wasn't what I wanted. And, of course, after we broke up, I never realized it but we had never openly talked about my spanking desire. It's like neither of us wanted to talk about it. We were just out of high school, we were kids. Kids didn't talk about their feelings. I found out later, of course, that I had been the topic of many a locker room conversation in his gym class. No wonder the other guys looked at me funny! To this day, I don't know if I created a lifetime spanko, or if he just did that to humor me or if he just spanked me because I had driven him to it. We never did talk about it.
As I matured, I tried dropping hints to my boyfriends. Most just didn't get it. When I was in my early 30's I started dating a man who was about 12 or 13 years older than me. I thought surely this sophisticated man would understand my desires and I could tell him about them without embarrassment. I thought he was a "Man of the World" who had been around a lot more than me. Instead of dropping hints with him, I came right and told him I liked to be spanked. I told him this before anything sexual ever occurred between us. I thought my sophisticated older man would be understanding. Instead, he looked horrified, berated me for my "violent fantasies" and finally offered to pay for therapy. We broke up a week later. After the "spanking conversation" he never even tried to touch me. I knew we were going to be incompatible as partners. I moved on, he moved on. I haven't heard from him since.
I dated other men, some of them open-minded some of them not, but none of them were willing to spank me. Finally, in my early 40's I discovered the Shadow Lane video. I am not proud of it, but I discovered a Shadow Lane ad in a copy of Penthouse "Variations". I had no idea that "spanking videos" even existed. I had seen BDSM videos and all they did was curl my hair. There was nothing out there for just spankos, or so I thought. Back then, Shadow Lane didn't have a website, you just sent for the videos through the magazine. Yeah, right. Like that was happening. So I forgot about it for awhile, and went back and hid in the closet, clutching my well-worn copy of "Blue Hawaii".
Arrive the Internet! The spanko's best friend! I got online in about the summer of 2001 (yeah, I know a late bloomer) and I was curious to see what material was on the web about spanking. I typed "spanking" into the search engine and got about 300,000 hits. I was curious to see if Shadow Lane had a website by this time. Of course, they did. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that, not only did they make videos, they hosted spanking parties! Real parties where people go to spank and/or get spanked. I knew I wasn't ready for that, and anyway they were too far away to even think about going.
I knew my city didn't have a spanking group (I wasn't lucky enough to live in New York or California), but I wondered if the nearest largest city might. I typed "spanking clubs" into the search engine and a lot more than Shadow Lane popped up. I soon learned that a lot of the major cities had a spanking scene. However, not many of them were above ground. I learned there was a group who hosted parties within driving distance of me. This blew my mind completely. After all this time, I might actually get to live out this fantasy that I've held for so long.
After lurking on the group's message board for about a week, I finally got up the courage to join. After all, just chatting with anonymous strangers couldn't hurt, could it? I joined two days before Christmas, 2002 and began chatting with the other members. I soon discovered they weren't scary and horrible. They were people just like me. They were lawyers and nurses and insurance salesmen. I was thrilled (but nervous) to learn that there was a party coming up at the end of January. I didn't think I was ready for a party but I made plans to go anyway. I am glad I did. I met some wonderful people there who have become very dear friends of mine. And, of course, I have met a lot of my play partners either through the group or directly at parties.
Even though the party scene isn't for everyone, they are alot of fun and I'm glad I took that first terrifying step to finding people who are like me. I just spent years and years fantasizing and thinking this would never happen, since I couldn't get any of my boyfriends to spank me. Well, I quickly learned a guy doesn't have to be your boyfriend for you to enjoy being spanked by him. What a world! So, this is Cigi's World...I welcome you to it.

Why I Started This Blog

2007-09-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

I have wanted to start blogging for some time now. But I was torn between wanting to get my thoughts out there and not wanting a bunch of strangers I didn't know judging me.

The purpose of this blog is...well, I don't know what it is. I suppose it's partly to just write my thoughts about what I call my "spanking thing", how I came to actually let this part of me come out and play and my thoughts on the spanking scene in general. No, not all of it is likable in my opinion and, of course, there are some aspects of it that just "aren't me". And I've learned over the last five years that that's ok. There are as many different reasons to be into spanking as there are people who spank or get spanked.
If you look online or join spanking groups there are a lot of people who are into the "Romance of Discipline", the fantasy aspect of it, and that's ok. There are others who like the punishment, who want to be held accountable to someone who will punish them if they don't behave to certain standards. That's ok, too. I have spent the last five years in the scene trying to figure out where I belong in all this. I certainly don't fit the two categories I mentioned. Nothing would ruin the scene for me more than some man thinking he can boss me around, tell me what to do, and then "punish" me if I get out of line. That's what I had my dad for and, I believe, he raised me pretty well. So that one definitely doesn't fit. As for the "romance" of spanking, well, I don't subscribe to that one, either.
For me, spanking isn't about punishment, sex, purging guilt, or wanting to feel inferior to someone else. For me, spanking is fun. It is just that simple. And I wanted to be able to find someplace to post my thoughts on some of the fun I've had and some of the times I've played where it wasn't so fun. I hope anyone who reads this will post their thoughts.